The Count's World: Masks and the Art of Glitter
by The Great Allie
Summary: Count Bleck has been asked to keep an eye on an archaeological dig in Dry Dry Desert headed by Professor Frankly. All sorts of secrets are hidden in the sand, and when they uncover not one, but THREE, it may put the fate of the world at risk. A visitor from the past, a mighty beast, and a hidden treasure are waiting to be discovered, and waiting to achieve victory by any means.
1. A New Mission

_Hi, and welcome to this story. This is sort of a lead-in for the big upcoming stories I'm working on, including the three-parter I mentioned on thecountsblog tumblr account, and one more big story that's a long time coming. I wanted to post this one first to get everybody ready. I wrote most of it last summer on a whim of inspiration, and spent the fall polishing it while working on the anniversary and on my book._

 _This one is a little different than other Count's World stories, as it actually has its main focus on other people. The story was something that just hit me, and even though it seemed less like a traditional Count's World story, I couldn't imagine telling it any other way._

* * *

The room in which Count Bleck was meeting was not built for luxury. The entire house was contained in this one room- everything from preparing meals to sleeping and all activities in between were done in the confines of this small space. There wasn't even a shower or bath; this being in the middle of the desert, water was scarce, and the whole outpost had to share a bay of five showers in a building just at the end of this street. Still, cramped as this room was, his host had taken the time to make room for Count Bleck, and as he sat across from the bed, he did not feel particularly crowded. His host, a green little mouser wrapped in desert garb, sat on his own bed across from his guest.

"Thank you for coming," said the little mouser.

"Thank you for having me."

The mouser glanced down and then back at Count Bleck's face, as if sizing him up. "I have heard tales of you. They say you are a nice guy... a very nice guy indeed."

"I'd like to think so," said Count Bleck.

"If you are truly nice, then you will listen to my plea."

"It's what I came for."

The little mouser nodded. "Yes... yes, indeed. Allow me to properly introduce myself." He cast away his concealing clothes. "My name is Moustafa, and I am concerned with the well-being of his desert."

"How so?"

"Several weeks ago, a group of foreigners from beyond the sea arrived. They claimed to be archaeologists on an important mission of discovery. In this short time they have set up an excavation site and are plunging deep into the mysteries of this desert.

"Dry Dry Desert holds many secrets. No doubt you are familiar with Dry Dry Ruins, the ancient temple that was all but lost until a hero, another nice guy, restored it to the surface and protected the treasures within."

"I am," said Count Bleck.

"So you believe this desert holds secrets... some of them dangerous ones."

"You're afraid the archaeologists will dig up more than they bargained for."

"Yes." Moustafa shifted. "And so are the locals. Any time a large group of foreigners comes here, taking up space, using our resources, and hunting for our artifacts, it makes the locals nervous. It is my hope that you can help on both of these counts."

"I can try my best," said Count Bleck. "I'll put my minions on the case right away."

Moustafa smiled coyly. "I was right. You _are_ a nice guy."

Count Bleck stood up. "First let me pay a visit to the archaeologists."

"Let me give you the coordinates." Moustafa did so, and Count Bleck was gone.

* * *

Count Bleck arrived at the coordinates to find an already fully functional dig site. It was already nearly as wide across as the courtyard of Castle Bleck, and deeper than his shoulders. There didn't seem to be anything in the hole yet save for two dozen grad students relentlessly sifting through the sand desperate to find an artifact to write their thesis about. There were several dozen small tents pitched to the north of the site, as well as ten very large ones and an aluminum-sided trailer that seemed to have the only air conditioning unit in the camp, perched in a window.

Count Bleck guessed that the trailer was the office, so he went up to it and knocked politely. It was quickly answered by a gray-haired, balding goomba in thick glasses. "Hello? Yes?"

"Hello, said Count Bleck. I have come here on behalf of the residents of Dry Dry Outpost and beyond concerning your recent activity."

"Is this about the permits?"The goomba frowned. "I already talked to your people about this. The permits cleared weeks ago. Everything should be good to go."

Count Bleck shook his head. "No, this isn't about whether you're allowed to dig here. It's just that the locals are concerned about the impact your presence may have, and they have asked me to assuage their fears."

"Hm." the goomba frowned. "And who are you, again?"

"Count Bleck. And your name, if I may ask?"

"It's Professor Frankly," said the goomba.

Inside the trailer, a woman's voice called, "Who is it, Professor?"

"A representative of the locals!" Professor Frankly called back.

A female goomba poked out from behind Professor Frankly. This one was much younger, and she had a bright blonde ponytail under a mining helmet. She also wore a red cravat. She was smiling, and she introduced herself right away: "Hiya! Name's Goombella. You say the locals are worried about us?"

"Yes," said Count Bleck.

"I remember reading about this in school," said Goombella. "Are they worried about the increase in resource consumption? Or are they upset about us taking the artifacts they view as theirs?"

"A little of both," said Count Bleck, keeping his cards close to his chest at the moment.

"And they want you to work it out?"

"Yes."

Goombella turned to Professor Frankly. "So, why don't we let them stay?"

Professor Frankly sputtered, "I beg your pardon?"

"Yeah," said Goombella. "He doesn't seem too hostile, and it would keep things smooth with the locals. He can tell us if there are any problems and we'd be free to focus all our energy on excavating."

"To be fair," Count Bleck cut in, "It wouldn't just be me. I would bring my wife and my minions as well. But I can keep them in line."

"You'd keep them out of our way?" asked Professor Frankly.

"If there is not currently a grievance from the locals, you won't know we're here."

Professor Frankly nodded slowly. "All right," he said. "This sounds acceptable."

Count Bleck tipped his hat. "Thank you. Count Bleck will return shortly." With that, he disappeared.

"He seemed nice," said Goombella.

"He did," agreed Professor Frankly. "I hope this keeps the locals off our backs. This may just prove to be the archaeological discovery of the century."

* * *

As soon as all the minions were gathered in the meeting room, Count Bleck was ready to conduct. He had all of their attention, he could tell, looking from one face to the next. Nastasia, O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio were all standing quietly and watching him, not being distracted- or distract _ing_ \- and it seemed for once things were going well in the meeting room.

"I've got us another mission," said Count Bleck.

"Neat," said Mimi.

"It's in Dry Dry Desert."

"Less neat." Mimi slouched.

"We're going to be assisting at an archaeological dig site," Count Bleck continued. "We have been asked to be a go-between 'twixt the locals and the archaeologists, negotiating any disputes between them to resolve them in the interest of both parties..." Count Bleck trailed off.

"And?" Dimentio leaned forward expectantly.

"And... there are concerns that what the archaeologists dig up may be of a dangerous nature."

O'Chunks pumped his fists excitedly. "Yes! An' here I thought this was gonna be one o' them boring missions, all talk-talk-talk, no chunks whatsoever."

"There will _possibly_ be chunking," said Count Bleck. "But I must stress that we will be out in the desert, where it is very hot and dry, and we are not to interfere in the archaeological excavation at any time."

"Well, I have been wanting to try out my summer wardrobe," said Mimi.

"And I've been meaning to work on my tan," said Dimentio.

"You can tan?"

"Certainly, if I go out in the sun. Which I never do, so it hasn't really come up."

"I've seen you in the sun before."

"Only in short bursts. I prefer places like Castle Bleck or Dimension D, where there is no sun to speak of."

"Yeah, I never think about it much, but we really don't have a sun here," said Mimi. "Remember when Nawrocki was here, and he took over, but we beat him because he didn't realize he was slowly starving without any sunlight to photosynthesize?"

"Come to think of it," said O'Chunks, "where does the light come from if there ehn't no sun?"

"What is Count Bleck, an astronomer?"

At that point, Nastasia straightened her glasses, lifted her clipboard, cleared her throat, and began to read: "Okay, so we have a lot to do in order to get ready for this mission. Item one: everybody pack a week's worth of clothes and all of your overnight supplies- toothbrushes, soaps, combs, whatever. You will be responsible for your own laundry when we get to the desert. We are staying indefinitely at the moment, so make sure you have what you need for day-to-day living. Unfortunately, due to problems with previous away missions, I'm afraid I'm going to have to limit you to two suitcases or less."

"What? That's not fair!" Mimi stamped her foot. "You're singling me out!"

"No one is being singled out. It wasn't any one thing. It wasn't you bringing your entire fall wardrobe on a day mission. It wasn't O'Chunks bringing his rock collection to the bottom of the sea mission, and it wasn't Dimentio bringing six empty suitcases just to bother everyone. Okay? We're all in the same boat. So pack light. Depending on how long the mission takes, we may come back here a few times to rotate our supplies."

Nastasia continued down their itinerary, reading over who was responsible for packing what, how they were going to secure the castle, and everything else that needed doing before they left. As soon as they were finished, the meeting broke. "Everyone spend the rest of today getting ready. We'll be leaving at six tomorrow morning."

" _Six_?!" Mimi said in disbelief. "Why do we have to leave so early?"

"Archaeologists apparently wake with the sun," said Count Bleck. "Or at least these ones do."

Mimi grumbled, but hopped off her meeting pedestal and began leaving for her room. As she left, she felt a quick tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Dimentio standing on the ground behind her. "What do you want?" She hadn't meant it to sound mean, but somehow it always came out that way.

"I'm only packing one suitcase," said Dimentio.

"Okay, good for you. What do you want? A medal?"

Dimentio glanced over his shoulder. Nastasia was currently talking to Count Bleck in hushed tones. He then turned back to Mimi. "I mean, if you wanted to wanted to use my extra suitcase. You know... for your little outfits."

"Why? What are you gonna do to them?"

Dimentio didn't answer. His facial expression didn't even change. He just looked at her, patiently, without a trace of mischief evident in his mask.

Mimi raised an eyebrow curiously. "Okay," she said. "Thank you."

"I'll bring it to your room after I'm done packing," said Dimentio. "When you're finished, just leave it outside my door. I'll carry it, Nastasia will think it's mine, and it won't make a difference." With that, he left.


	2. Crazy Lace

True to Nastasia's word, they were out of bed, washed, groomed, fed, and standing in the entryway at six o' clock on the dot. Mimi was standing a bit lopsided, trying to keep her balance. Dimentio was, as usual, not quite touching the ground, and O'Chunks was flexing to keep himself awake. Nastasia was running down her final checklist, making sure they were ready to leave.

"Pantry emptied of perishables?" she said.

"Either packed or tossed," said Tippi.

"Water pipes?"

"Shut off."

"Window check?"

"Every single one locked."

Nastasia tucked the clipboard under her arm. "I don't think we can get any more ready than we already are. Everybody have their suitcases?"

O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio were all holding a suitcase in each hand. Dimentio was right; nobody could have noticed that his was full of Mimi's summer wardrobe instead of whatever creepy or bizarre things he would have packed instead.

Traveling wasn't too hard, but it still took them a good half hour to make it all the way to Dry Dry Desert, and after that they had to physically find their way to the dig site, given it's remote and somewhat hidden nature. The sun was barely up, but it was already getting hot and the hole was filled with diggers.

At this point in the desert there were fewer rolling sand dunes, and it was mostly clay and dirt. They were near the cliffs of Mt. Rugged, which would cast a shadow over the site as the sun set behind the mountains. The sky was clear without any clouds, and the heat was dry.

Goombella was standing on the edge of the excavation site, and when she saw the Count's group, she hurried to meet them. "Great to see you!" she chirped. "Professor Frankly asked me to show you guys around! Follow me and I'll give you a quick tour."

She turned around. "Okay, so right here is where we're looking for the lost village of Aardman," she said. "This hole is generally off limits to everybody who isn't a trained excavator. Up north is Tent City. We're all staying here." She began walking, bringing them through Tent City as she explained what was where. "These small tents are where our people are sleeping, we're two to a tent. We have some extras if you didn't bring your own. These big tents are where we're going to keep what we find... we're coming up on the food tent. There's plenty for you guys. Meals are at 6, 12, and 6. Get here fast or the good stuff will be gone... okay, behind the food tent to the east is Frankly's trailer. You're not exactly forbidden from coming here, but it's the only place with air conditioning and he doesn't like people hanging around just to cool off. If you need him, he'll probably be in here. Now. Standing right behind the trailer like this and face east. If you go straight along this path we've marked with stakes and string, you'll get to the oasis. There's fresh water and it grows lemons, limes, and mangoes. If you want to go into town, it's about a two hours walk from here. You have to go south along the cliff's edge until you hit the path, you can't miss it, and then as soon as you do head east. You'll make it there. Any questions?"

"Not about the directions," said Count Bleck. "Minions, for now, you are relieved from active duty. Please acclimate yourselves to the area. After you finish lunch, I want you to meet me behind the food tent and we'll discuss our next actions."

"I'll pitch me tent," said O'Chunks. "These ones won't fit me chunks."

"I, of course, will be staying in my luxury two-bedroom tent." Mimi unrolled her own tent from on top of her backpack.

"I have no need to pitch a tent," said Dimentio, "for I will be slumbering in Dimension D, which _by the way_ has been cleared of all refuse, thank you very much."

"How many times do I have to apologize for that?" asked Count Bleck.

"Well, once would be a start."

"It's a little late in the morning for starting," said Count Bleck. "I must go and speak with Professor Frankly."

"Oh, before I forget," said Dimentio. He set his left-hand suitcase down next to Mimi. "Would you be a dear and watch this suitcase for me? I'm going to set the other one up in Dimension D." Then, in a gesture so subtle that Mimi almost missed it, Dimentio winked. An instant later, he and his sole suitcase were gone.

* * *

Count Bleck knocked again on the door to Professor Frankly's trailer. This time, he was greeted with a shouted, "Door's open!" Count Bleck slowly nudged the door open and slipped in, closing it quickly behind him so as not to let any of the mercifully cool air out.

The trailer was square inside, and quite large. Professor Frankly had a large, oak desk on the wall left of the door, and the wall across from the door was lined with overflowing bookshelves. There was a table to the right with several chairs and some dirty dishes. The walls were wood paneled, the carpet was dark green, and there were two windows on each wall, even though that put some of them partially behind the bookcases. The blinds were drawn on all of them except the one behind Frankly, where they were up just enough to let the air conditioning unit work its magic. All in all, it felt more like a University office in a proper building than a trailer in the desert.

"I'll be with you in a moment, have a seat," said Professor Frankly. Obediently, Count Bleck sat down at the table. He inspected the dishes, trying to discern what had been eaten from them last, but was unable to. Giving up on that, he began leafing through a geology book that was several levels over his head.

When Professor Frankly closed his book, Count Bleck looked up. "Sorry about that," said Professor Frankly. "Just catching up on some things. What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to ask you a few questions about this expedition," said Count Bleck.

"Well, then you're in luck; I love talking about my work. What do you want to know?"

"For starters, what are you looking for?"

"The lost village of Aardman," said Frankly. "One of the first settlements in Dry Dry Desert. Three thousand years ago, toads first crossed Mt. Rugged to try and make a life in the harsh wilderness beyond. There were a lot of resources here, things like copper and iron that people on the other side of the mountains wanted, so they were able to mine it and trade for everything they needed. They were one of the most developed civilizations in the early world.

"Then, one day, poof. The village just vanished. All information about them stops at about 1,000 years ago. No news of a cataclysm, no records of depleting resources... nothing. They simply vanished, all evidence of the village and each and every resident. For the longest time, we didn't have a record of where they were located. We had records showing they existed, and that people were trading with them, but no one actually documented exactly where they were.

"It wasn't until Goombella was exploring the area of the Thousand Year Door, after that unpleasantness with the X-Nauts, that we found an old crate of shipping manifests detailing imports and exports around the world, and it included coordinates to Aardman. Well, of course, we were thrilled! We set off just as fast as we could, and now we're looking for any evidence that they were here. So far we haven't found any, but it's far too early to be discouraged."

"So, you haven't found anything whatsoever at the moment?"

"Not unless you count crazy lace."

Count Bleck blinked. Then he tapped the jewel of his cane on his chin. "I'm sorry, crazy lace?"

"Yeah. Crazy lace. It's a type of agate." Professor Frankly opened his desk drawer and pulled out a rock, which he plunked on the desktop. Count Bleck bent over and examined it closely. The term "crazy lace" described it perfectly, as it had long, thin stripes in an abstract but somewhat lace-like pattern covering the rock all over in multiple tones of brown and deep orange. "We've been digging up crazy lace like... well, like crazy. Some of the guys have taken to tumbling and polishing them. You can keep any you find. Heck, take that one if you like. I've got crazy lace coming out of my ears."

"Thank you." Count Bleck opened his cape and tucked the crazy lace into one of his pockets. "Did any of their exports mention crazy lace, by any chance?"

"No," said Professor Frankly. "It wasn't something they exported, and if they ever made anything out of it they never shipped it."

"Is that unusual?"

"Not really. If, when we discover their village, we don't find tools, decorations, or other things at least partially made of crazy lace, then I'll be surprised. But for now, it's just how it is."

Count Bleck nodded, then he stood up. "Well. Thank you for your time. I won't keep you."

"Come back anytime. I might be busy, but I'll be around."

As he had let himself in, Count Bleck let himself out. His wife was waiting for him, hovering near the door. "Well? Did you find anything interesting?"

Count Bleck withdrew the stone from his pocket. "Crazy lace," he said.

Tippi took a close look at it. "Crazy lace?"

"Apparently it's a type of agate." He put it away. "If you see the others, tell them they can keep what they find."

"Crazy lace."

Count Bleck shrugged.

* * *

Mimi went absolutely crazy for the crazy lace. She collected every single bit she found, borrowed a rock tumbler from the archaeologists, polished all her rocks until they were round and smooth, and began making jewelry out of them. She had to take an overnight trip to Dry Dry Outpost for some supplies (thin wire, wire cutters, elastic, and things like that) and went right to work. She made necklaces, bracelets, anklets, hair ties, chokers, earrings, navel rings, any jewelry you could think of, she made some out of crazy lace.

"I don't know what she sees in it," Dimentio commented more than once, "but if it keeps her quiet..."

The very second day Mimi was sitting down next to the pit with a rock tumbler, tumbling and smoothing the stones. Around mid-afternoon, several of the diggers stopped to take a break and passed by her on their way to Tent City. A pink-shelled parakoopa stopped beside her, wiping the sweat from her face and watching Mimi work. A red shy guy bumped into the parakoopa.

"Oof!" said the shy guy. He stepped back. "Sorry. Didn't know you were stopping."

"You like the rocks?" the parakoopa asked. "Are you one of those strangers who set up tents with us?"

"Yeah," said Mimi. "I'm with Count Bleck and I'm here to help make sure nothing goes wrong with this dig. My name's Mimi."

The parakoopa nodded. "Nice to meet you, Mimi. My name's Nelvana Trooper, but everybody calls me Nell. This is my friend, Dique." She pronounced it 'deek.' "We're students of Professor Frankly."

Mimi turned off the tumbler and emptied out the rocks. "You like jewelry?"

"I _love_ jewelry," replied Nell. "Why? You making some to sell?"

"You can have some for free, I just love making it. What do you like? Necklaces, bracelets, earrings?"

"I like earrings," said Nell. "Studs if you can manage, not hooks."

"I wouldn't say no to a necklace if you're offering," said Dique. He leaned over and looked at her smooth rocks. "They're really pretty."

"Yeah," said Nell. "Well, we've got to head on. See you around the dig site."

"See you!" Mimi chirped. "Don't be a stranger!"

When the rest of the camp saw how much jewelry she was making, she had to take a second trip to the outpost for even more supplies. This time she had a better idea of how much she needed, and Count Bleck accompanied her (leaving Nastasia in charge.) While she hunted for everything she needed in the shops and the bazaar, Count Bleck paid a quick visit to Moustafa's.

"Come in, Nice Guy." Moustafa seemed to know who Count Bleck was by knock alone. Either that, or he could sense niceness. Count Bleck entered and found the home exactly the same as when he had last left it, right down to where Moustafa was sitting. "How goes the excavation?"

"Slow," said Count Bleck. "So far they haven't found anything except lots and lots of crazy lace."

"Crazy lace, eh?" Moustafa rubbed his nose thoughtfully.

Count Bleck produced his piece of crazy lace from Professor Frankly, which he had kept safe from Mimi's jewelry-making rampage. "Crazy lace."

"You know, the old tribes of the desert used crazy lace in their artifacts," said Moustafa.

"Were any of those artifacts dangerous?"

"Unfortunately, I can't be sure. You've reminded me of a story I heard, long ago... but I cannot recall. Please, be so nice as to give me some time to ruminate on this. If I come up with anything, I know where to find you."

"Thank you," said Count Bleck. "Do you need any?"

"Any what? Crazy lace?"

"Yes."

"No, thank you, I'm set for agates at the moment."


	3. The Discovery

After the crazy lace craze settled down, the next big discovery was the top of a building.

It was Goombella who found it, digging as she always did with her trusty tiny tools, ever so delicately moving clay and grit aside. At this point, the pit was deeper than Count Bleck's hat and they had started to build a ramp into the side for walking in and out easily. They had also rigged up a bucket and pulley system for moving dirt, which was usually controlled by three grad students at a time, or one O'Chunks.

"Professor Frankly! Professor Frankly!" Goombella shouted. "I found something!" She went running up the ramp and to the trailer as she continued shouting her triumph all through Tent City.

Professor Frankly knew she wasn't shouting about more agates, and he came running from his office, still hopping into his shoes as he hustled. "What is it?"

"I don't know yet," said Goombella. "But look! It's something, isn't it?"

From the edge of the pit, Count Bleck and Nastasia were keeping an eye on things. From their vantage point, all they could really see was a chunk of rock that Goombella was repeatedly dusting with a tiny brush. To the untrained eye, it didn't look like anything at all. However, it clearly was something to Professor Frankly, because he quickly ordered everyone to focus their efforts on that area specifically.

"Impressive," said Count Bleck. He turned to Nastasia. "Tell the others of this discovery."

"Yes, sir." Nastasia turned and left.

Count Bleck watched them dig, slowly and carefully. He stood there on the edge of the pit all day, and into the night until one by one, the diggers retreated to their tents. Then, so too did he. Before the sun came up he was already out again, standing on the edge in the exact same place, watching silently. That day Dique and Nell headed off to town while everyone else took turns carefully uncovering the building, which was proving to be slow, arduous work. The next day, Dique and Nell returned with an angry sun monster, who agreed to help light the dig site when the sun started to set behind the mountains and the shadows made it too unsafe to try to move the dirt away from the building. He hung there for as long as it took to uncover the small building, well into the evening of the day when they finally finished uncovering the discovery.

Count Bleck stood on the rim of the pit, out of everyone's way but present enough to creep everyone out. "Honey, people are staring," said Tippi. "You're making all the grad students uncomfortable."

"They're used to me," replied Count Bleck.

"I'm sure if they find something, they'll let you know."

Count Bleck frowned.

"What? What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, really," said Count Bleck. "But I promised I would keep an eye on things here, and that's what I'm doing." He rolled his shoulders a few times, letting movement return to his joints slowly. "They're about to find something."

From down in the pit, Goombella called up, "Hey! We're about to take a look inside this thing! You wanna come and look?"

"Count Bleck would _love_ to look," Count Bleck replied. He moved down the path along the side of the pit at a quick pace but not quite a hurry, and soon was standing in the pit, several feet away from the uncovered building.

"Do you need me for this?" asked the angry sun, whose name Count Bleck recently learned was Klasky.

"Stay back a bit," Professor Frankly replied. "Over there, at the edge. I'm not so sure about light sensitivity at the moment." He turned to Count Bleck. "From what we can tell, it looks like a house. We're about to find out what it can tell us about how these people lived."

The house, as it was, was modest and small. It was only slightly larger than a Toad House, and couldn't possibly have more than one room. The outside walls were made of clay, the same clay they had been digging out of the ground but packed tightly and mixed with other materials Count Bleck couldn't discern. There was a doorway in the front, and hanging off of its sides was a straw mat that didn't quite reach the top or the bottom. There were open windows built into the clay, no glass, no paper, nothing to keep the elements out.

Professor Frankly eased the straw mat out of the way. It was brittle, but it did not break. "Oh, my goodness..." he breathed. "I don't believe this. Come look at this!"

The diggers crowded around the entry. Klasky hovered outside near the window so that everyone could see in. Count Bleck stood near the back, floating just high enough to see over everyone's heads. The house looked mostly empty except for a few broken pots and a long extinguished fire pit. It was easy to see what Professor Frankly was amazed about: the centerpiece of the room was a large, stone statue of a Toad.

"I don't believe this," said Professor Frankly. "None of our research indicates they were this far advanced in the arts. A statue like this... this is a post-Mushroom Renaissance level of skill! They weren't making pieces like this in Toad Town until... maybe eight hundred years ago?"

"It's beautiful," said Count Bleck.

The crowd agreed: "Oh, yeah." "Mm-hm." "Couldn't agree more!" "I want one for my garden." "This is _so cool_." "Hey, Frank, take my picture in front of the statue!"

Professor Frankly looked outside. "It's getting dark," he said.

"Don't worry," said Klasky. "I'm here!"

Professor Frankly shook his head. "No, thanks, you can go home for the night. I'm going to have two of my assistants move this thing into my office. I want to get a closer look at it.

"You got it. See you tomorrow evening." Klasky floated off into the sky, leaving long shadows behind him.

Just then Dique and Nell appeared at the lip of the pit with a handcart. "We got it!" Dique called.

"We can help you move it!"

Nell raced down the ramp pushing the handcart, with Dique riding. When they hit the bottom Nell put her brakes on and skidded to a stop well away from the standing house. The crowd parted just enough to let the handcart in. A few moments later, it emerged much more slowly and carefully, this time with the toad statue loaded on.

"Careful," said Professor Frankly. "If that thing breaks, you're both failing every class you ever take from me again."

"Got it, Prof," said Dique.

Count Bleck floated back, facing forward, moving well out of their way. In doing so, he bumped into something soft and hovering. Count Bleck spun around and was face-to-foot with Dimentio.

"Good evening," said Count Bleck.

"They found something," said Dimentio.

"Thoughts?"

"I don't like it," said Dimentio. "There's something... _wrong_ about it. It fills me with foreboding, like the clouds of a summer storm that darken the bright sun."

"Really? It bothers you that much?"

"I wish they would put it back." Already, however, they were halfway up the ramp, with Nell flying alongside it and spotting it. "It's not going to bring anything pleasant."

"It's just a statue," said Count Bleck. "It's not going to bite."

Dimentio's face darkened. "It doesn't have to bite. It might do things far worse."

"Like what?"

"Like perhaps I don't want to think about it. I've got chills all up and down my spine and I don't like it. I'm going back to Dimension D. Come and find me when that thing is either gone or it starts killing people."

"Will do," said Count Bleck.

* * *

The next morning, the excavation resumed as usual with the diggers trying to widen the hole in the hopes of finding more village. Instead of standing on the edge of the pit again as he had done for the past several days, Count Bleck went to visit Professor Frankly, who welcomed him in happily.

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" Professor Frankly said as Count Bleck closed the trailer door behind him. He was referring to the statue, which was now occupying the center of the trailer.

"It is, indeed," said Count Bleck.

"The others have nicknamed her Cinar. It's as good a thing to call her as anything."

Count Bleck leaned in to get a better look. The entire statue was made of gray metamorphic rock embedded with thousands of tiny, glittering sparkles. The shades were all still drawn, but any narrow hint of light that got in reflected off the surface of the statue and letting light dance along the walls.

The stone was carved elaborately; every single detail rendered with breathtaking realism. The eyes were so intricately carved that Count Bleck could read the expression, eyes slightly wide and pupils slightly pointed upward. The toad's arms were halfway raised as if the statue captured the moment its subject was in the middle of putting them up in defense. One hand clutched a wand, a narrow stick with a five-pointed star at the end of it. One of the toad's feet was slightly behind the other, the toes on the floor and the heel in the air. Even the clothes the toad was wearing, what seemed to be a large piece of fabric wrapped around like a dress, had every single fiber lovingly rendered. She had hair under her toad cap, short and unevenly cut, and Count Bleck could see each individual strand and how it lay against the others.

"This is remarkable," said Count Bleck.

"It's very similar to the work of bumpity ice sculptor Jay Ward. He was the first recorded artist to sculpt in such detail. But even his work isn't nearly as detailed as this. Some of his sculptures are still on display in the Shiver Region. I've seen them."

The door to the office opened, and Dique peered in. "Hey, mind if we get a look at the statue?"

"Actually," said Professor Frankly, "would you mind keeping an eye on it for a few minutes? I need to step outside and I don't want to leave it alone."

"Sure thing," said Dique.

From behind him and out of sight, Nell's voice called, "Well, did he say yes?"

Dique turned around. "He wants us to keep an eye on it."

"Oh, awesome."

Dique and Nell went into the trailer, and Professor Frankly and Count Bleck left. "I must check on the dig," said Frankly. "Would you like to walk and talk with me?"

"No, thank you," said Count Bleck. He and Professor Frankly then went in opposite directions. Count Bleck decided to head to the oasis for a snack. He had been there before and quite liked it. It had a pond that was large enough for swimming if one had a mind to, and several clusters of trees. Count Bleck chose a lemon tree, picked a juicy lemon, leaned against the trunk, slid down into the ground, and began to cut it with a sharp piece of crazy lace.

As he was eating, an open book fell out of the tree and into his lap. Count Bleck immediately jumped into a standing position, dropping his fruit and knocking the book aside. "What?! Who's there?"

Moustafa jumped out of the tree, where he had been carefully hidden in the branches, and landed cleanly on the ground in front of Count Bleck. "I recalled the story," he said.

"Fantastic," said Count Bleck. "This was the best way to get my attention?"

Ignoring that, Moustafa picked up the book and held it over his head to show Count Bleck. "It is said the ancients of this lost village knew well the ways of the ancient world's magic and desired to harness it for themselves. Both the Purity Heart and the Crystal Stars were forces to be reckoned with a millennium ago. These people, it is said, sought a way to combine the power of these artifacts to bring their kind prosperity."

Count Bleck took the book and examined it closely. It was full of writing in a language he did not know, with one picture drawn carefully on the bottom of the right-hand page. It looked like a heart, not a cartoon representation of a heart like a Pure Heart, but an actual, human heart. Count Bleck could pick out the left and right atria and ventricles, and even the aorta on top. The cava and arteries ended in open tubes less than an inch away from the heart.

"It is said they made their own heart using the power of the Purity Heart and the Crystal Stars, and they used the only material around them suited to it: crazy lace agate. Unfortunately, this artifact was dangerous and impossible to control, and threatened to consume them all with its unpredictable power. Because of its potential, it was sought by all who thought they were powerful enough to control it. Unfortunately, none were. Eventually, it was buried and hidden, protected by ancient guards and powerful magic, hopefully never to be uncovered."

Count Bleck nodded as he absorbed the story. "You think the archaeologists are going to dig this thing up?"

"I worry they will," said Moustafa. "I trust you will keep an eye on things."

Count Bleck handed the book back to Moustafa. "That's a promise."

"I wish you the best of luck, nice guy."


	4. Meeting Cinar

When Count Bleck got back to Tent City, he crashed almost immediately into Dique. Dique had been scurrying along and not looking where he was going, so he collided with Count Bleck, sending them both falling backward.

"Ouch! Said Count Bleck."

Dique was rubbing his head and straightening his mask. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," he said. "I wasn't looking, I was just kind of panicking."

Count Bleck stood up and began wiping sand off his cape. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No. Yeah. Kinda."

"Tell Count Bleck."

"Well… I was in the office, watching Cinar. It was dark, so Nelvana pulled up one of the blinds. I was standing next to the statue, with my back to it, and I was watching Nell as she tried to pull up the second blind, and… I felt something." Dique hesitated.

"Go ahead," said Count Bleck kindly.

"Well… it was cold. Really cold… and it was around my throat..." Dique paused and indicated with his stubby little hands where exactly his throat was. "And it started to _squeeze_."

"It was trying to strangle you?"

"It felt like it. So I grabbed at my throat and tried to pry it away, but it was rock hard and I couldn't move it, so I cried out, and Nell grabbed me and pulled me outside. She stayed outside the trailer to watch it. I just ran."

"I'll take a look," said Count Bleck. "You should probably find Professor Frankly."

Dique nodded. "Yeah… yeah. Good idea."

Count Bleck pointed off to the left. "The dig site is that way."

"Thank you. I'm a little turned around."

"Understandable."

Dique scurried off in the direction of the dig site. Count Bleck made his way back to the trailer. Outside, Nell was sitting on one of the three wooden steps leading up to the door. When she saw Count Bleck, she stood up. "Hello?"

"Hello," said Count Bleck. "I hear you just had a frightening experience."

"Honestly, I don't know what happened. I just know Dique was upset, and so I got spooked, too."

"Step aside, please, let me in to see what's going on."

Nell obeyed. Count Bleck let himself in the trailer. It looked brighter now that some natural light was being let in. Cinar was situated on the floor so that it didn't actually touch any of the beams of light being let in through the window. Still, Count Bleck noticed right away that it was different: now both feet were evenly on the ground, and the arms were to its sides, slightly spread out with the palms facing forward.

Count Bleck leaned closely into Cinar, so close their faces were less than an inch apart. Very slowly, he lifted his cane and brought it to the side of the toad's cap. He tapped it lightly once, then twice more. Nothing happened.

"Should I be jealous?"

Count Bleck turned around and saw Tippi hovering in the doorway behind him. "You're close enough to kiss her," she said.

"At the moment, Cinar is third in line for my affections," replied Count Bleck.

"Third?"

"I have decided that, should the unthinkable happen to you again, instead of destroying all worlds I will simply take Nastasia as my second wife."

"That's probably a better plan," agreed Tippi. "Though I don't think she'd be thrilled to hear she's your backup girl."

Professor Frankly stepped into the trailer through the open door. "What's going on? Dique said something happened here."

"Look at this." Count Bleck stepped aside so that Professor Frankly could see the statue. "Does it look a bit… different to you?"

Professor Frankly looked at the statue for a minute. Then he went to his desk and picked up a stack of instant film snapshots, which he had used to document of the statue from all angles. He lifted one picture of Cinar from the front and held it up next to the statue, then looked back and forth from one to the other several times.

"It moved."

"I was thinking that, yes."

"This is not a statue."

"What else might it be?" asked Count Bleck.

"I don't know," said Professor Frankly, "but I would like it out of my office immediately."

"I'll get the handcart," said Count Bleck.

"I'll get someone to move it," said Tippi.

That someone turned out to be O'Chunks, who had to duck down and squeeze to fit through the trailer door. He didn't need the handcart, however, and he just picked Cinar up and carefully carried her through the door. When he got outside, he set it down next to the door. "So," said O'Chunks, "where d'yeh want me to put this thing?"

"I was thinking in that big tent right there," said Professor Frankly, indicating the tent of which he spoke. "That's not too far, is it?"

"Nah, not for me chunks."

"Uh, guys?" Tippi said. "The statue is cracked."

"What?" Professor Frankly rushed over to Tippi and looked. Sure enough, there was a large, jagged crack running down the back of Cinar's cap.

"That's impossible!" O'Chunks protested. "I was carryin' that thing like a newborn!"

"I was watching," said Count Bleck. "Nothing you did could have caused that crack."

"Do you think Dique might have done it when he was panicking?"

"Dique said he was in front of the statue," said Count Bleck. "How could he have cracked the back?"

Just then, a beam of yellow light burst forth from the crack.

"That's new!" Professor Frankly squawked as he jumped back.

"Well, tweak me chin hairs..." O'Chunks breathed.

The jagged crack began to grow, down the toad's back and up to the top of its head. Another crack appeared on Cinar's side, and face, and torso, and arms, and each one of them was emitting its own bright beam of light.

"Stand back," said Count Bleck. He held his arms out in front of Tippi and Professor Frankly, and slowly took a few steps back, herding everyone away.

Mimi came running from Tent City. She was wearing her favorite desert princess outfit, a teal tank top and baggy matching pants, decked out from head to toe in crazy lace jewelry. "What's going on? I just saw some light; did Klasky explode?"

"No," said Count Bleck. "Stay back!"

Finally, the statue cracked to its breaking point. With a burst of light, the stone shattered and burst away, sending shards scattering in every direction. When the light dissipated, all that was left was a toad woman, who dropped to her hands and knees.

"I don't believe this..." Professor Frankly whispered.

"Oh, gosh," said Mimi. "What happened?"

The toad woman looked up. She, like the statue before her, was covered from head to toe in sparkling glitter, letting the sun reflect off every inch of her body. Every detail of the statue was true for her: she wore a brown piece of fabric wrapped around her like a dress, she had short honey blonde hair that just barely poked out from under her red-spotted cap. She was still holding the wand, which was the same shade of bright yellow all over. When it moved, it sprinkled bright yellow glitter on the sand below.

Count Bleck looked into her eyes and saw that her expression had not changed. It was still filled with fear.

"Don't be afraid," said Count Bleck gently. He knelt down on the ground in front of her and extended his hand. Cinar, if the woman truly had been the statue, looked at it and furrowed her brow.

"There's no way she understands what we're saying," said Professor Frankly. "The house she was in had to have been buried over five hundred years ago, given the layers we found it in. The language we're speaking now only came to be the way it is three hundred years ago, and it wasn't spoken anywhere near this region."

Cinar looked at Professor Frankly, still with a puzzled expression. She slowly pushed herself to her feet, and Count Bleck took his hand away, Tentatively, Cinar put one foot forward and shifted her weight slowly to it. When nothing happened, she did the same with her other foot. In that way, she took two steps forward before stopping. She looked up at Count Bleck's hat and cocked her head to the side.

"You like it?" Count Bleck took his hat off and handed it to Cinar. Cinar took it and examined it closely, face mere millimeters from the brim. Her eyes were wide, soaking in every detail.

"Wow," said Mimi. "The Count looks weird without his hat."

"To be honest, I always think of it as part o' his head," said O'Chunks.

Cinar put the hat on top of her cap, where it just barely fit without sliding over her face. Then she smiled, took it off, and handed it back. Count Bleck returned the hat to his head. Then Cinar began patting herself all over until she found a piece of ribbon in some hidden pocket. She held it up to Count Bleck.

"What is this for?" asked Count Bleck.

Cinar wrapped the ribbon around Count Bleck's wrist and tied it in a bow. She pat his wrist, looked at him in the eye, and smiled as she pushed his hand back to his body.

"Is this for me to keep?"

Cinar only continued to smile.

Mimi took that opportunity to step forward. "Hiya! I'm Mimi!"

Cinar looked at Mimi, her puzzled look returning.

Mimi pointed to herself. "Mimi. Can you say 'Mimi'? Miiii-miiii."

Cinar continued to stare.

"That's okay," said Mimi. "We'll learn how to communicate eventually."

Cinar cocked her head slightly again in confusion.

Grinning, Mimi mimicked Cinar, cocking her head in the exact same manner, a complete mirror to Cinar.

Cinar's brow furrowed again, and she tilted her head a little further. Mimi, with a giggle, tilted her head again the same way.

Next Cinar tilted her head so far over it was at a 90-degree angle. Again, Mimi copied her.

Now Cinar tilted her head so far her shoulders shifted and made a horizontal line between them.

Instead of copying, Mimi cracked her neck and let her head hang upside down.

Cinar shrieked, but it was one of delight rather than disgust. She put her hands over her mouth, but the smile in her eyes was evident.

"You like that?" Mimi said with a laugh, as her head dangled loosely. Then she flipped it back straightways and cracked it back into place.

Cinar lowered her arms to her side. She began to roll her shoulders a few times, as if warming up, before putting her right hand on her left shoulder and giving it a loud _pop_! Then her arm dangled loose, just as Mimi's head had been.

Mimi squealed, not as delighted as Cinar had been with Mimi's head trick, but still intrigued. Cinar laughed and jiggled her body so her limp arm dangled loosely. Then she took her hand and popped her arm back in its socket.

"I think she wants to be your friend," said Tippi. "She's trying to mimic you."

Mimi was beaming. "I wanna be your friend, too," said Mimi. "Since you can't tell me your name, is it okay if I keep calling you Cinar?"

"She can't understand you," said Professor Frankly. "I need to go back to my office- my anthropologist friend is going to want to meet her! Please, Count Bleck, do _not_ let her out of your sight! I can't believe this! A real, living relic from the past!" And with that, Professor Frankly hurried off.

O'Chunks flexed his chunks. "Don't worry. I'll be her bodyguard. No one'll get to her as long as I'm around!"

Count Bleck turned to Mimi. "You don't have to worry," he said. "You can still be friends even if you can't talk to each other."

"I remember I used to know a song about that," said Mimi. She turned to Cinar. "I know you don't understand me, but it goes like this." And Mimi began to sing:

 _We can whistle, have so much fun  
Make pictures in the sand of the sun  
We can whistle like a bird  
We can talk without a word_

 _There are so many ways of saying  
All the things you have to say  
You can whistle, make a picture, make a sign  
In a strange new land, we can understand  
That I like you, and you're a friend of mine._

Mimi knelt down and sketched a picture of herself in the sand. Cinar knelt down beside her and used the end of her wand to sketch a picture of herself next to Mimi. The sand sparkled with the glitter falling from her wand by the time she was finished. Then Cinar reached over and tapped the top of Mimi's head with her glitter wand, causing glitter to fall out on it and settle all over Mimi's face and hair.

Mimi looked up at Cinar and smiled. Cinar smiled back.

* * *

 _Song excerpt from "It's the Same Sun" of The American Girls Revue, lyrics by Gretchen Cryer_

 _Shoutout to Space Dimentio for totally calling it, btw._


	5. Professor Sullivan Bluth

Professor Sullivan Bluth was on the next train to Dry Dry Desert, and he arrived at the dig site the next morning. Professor Frankly had called Toad Town on the camp's radio, as he knew Professor Bluth was researching from some of Russ T.'s books. Professor Bluth dropped everything (literally, much to Russ' annoyance) and was knocking on Professor Frankly's trailer door at the crack of dawn.

"It is way too early for this," grumbled Klasky, hovering nearby. "Keep it down down there."

"Sorry," said Professor Bluth.

Count Bleck was standing just around the corner, leaning up against the side of the trailer and watching the newcomer. Professor Sullivan Bluth was a goomba, and looked much like Professor Frankly, except with even less hair and slightly thinner glasses. Perhaps that was the look that all goomba professors had.

Goombella answered the door. "Hi. Are you here to meet Cinar?"

"Is that the statue toad Professor Frankly mentioned?"

"Yep," said Goombella. "She sleeps in that tent over there. Let's see if she's up."

Goombella led Professor Bluth over to the indicated tent. Count Bleck followed a ways behind. The other two acknowledged his presence, but allowed him distance. The tent they arrived at was fairly large, and it had O'Chunks standing guard outside. "Heya, Chunks," said Goombella. "I'm here with that anthropologist Professor Frankly mentioned. Is Cinar up yet?"

"Dunno," said O'Chunks. "Go ahead and look inside."

Goombella poked her head in the tent. Inside, Mimi was curled up in a sleeping bag on an air mattress, with a mask over her eyes. There was another sleeping bag, and sitting on top of it was Cinar. She was holding her wand and running her hands over it, staring with unfocused eyes at some random spot in the canvas. There was a small pile of glitter beside her. "Hey. Good morning," said Goombella.

Cinar's eyes came into focus and she turned her head to look at Goombella.

"You wanna come out? I've got someone here to meet you." Count Bleck noticed that, when speaking to Cinar, Goombella's voice was of a slightly higher pitch and ended on an up-note, much like one does when speaking to a very small child or an adorable animal.

Cinar, still not understanding a word of what was said to her, continued to stare.

"You say you found her in a house that you excavated?" asked Professor Bluth.

"Yes," said Goombella.

"I'd like to bring her to it."

"I'm not sure how to get her to follow us without spooking her," said Goombella.

"Allow me to help." Count Bleck gestured, and the goombas moved aside. Then he entered the tent and knelt down so that his face was level with Cinar. He waved his hand in his usual "come here" gesture. Cinar watched him, and then mimicked the gesture herself.

Count Bleck frowned, then reached out with his right hand and gently took a hold of hers. He gave a very gentle tug. This did get through to her, and she stood up and allowed herself to be led out of the tent by him. "All right," said Count Bleck. "Let's head over to the dig site."

Cinar waved her wand over Professor Bluth's head, causing a shower of glitter to fall on him.

"Yes, very nice," said Professor Bluth. "Now. The dig site, please."

Goombella showed Professor Bluth to the pit, and all four of them eased themselves down the ramp until they were at the bottom with the house. "Here it is," said Goombella, puffed up with pride. "The house that _I_ found."

"Congratulations," said Professor Bluth. "Have you brought her back to it yet?"

"Not yet," said Goombella.

"Excuse me, tall sir?" Professor Bluth turned to Count Bleck. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"I forgot to throw it. It's Count Bleck."

"Ah. Well, Count Bleck, would you please lead her over to her house? I would like very much to see her in her natural environment."

"Of course." Count Bleck, who was still holding Cinar's hand, led her over to the entryway of the house. He let go and moved back to give her some space.

Cinar's face was unreadable. There was an expression, but the meaning behind it was lost. Her eyes were somewhat squinted, and her mouth was pulled tight. It could have been confusion, or anxiety, or even displeasure. Cinar stood there for a long while, and Count Bleck wondered if he should do something. However, Professor Bluth wanted to see her natural reactions. Count Bleck did nothing.

Finally, Cinar moved the straw mat aside and let herself in. Professor Bluth waddled up to the window, but it was a little too high for him. "Here," said Goombella. "Stand on my head." Goombella stood under the window, and Count Bleck lifted Professor Bluth on top of her mining helmet. From there, he could see in perfectly.

Inside Cinar knelt down on the ground in the exact spot where her statue had been standing. The ground still had the indent from the heavy stone it bore all those years. She slowly picked up some of the sand and let it run through her fingers. Then she got up and went over to the broken pots. She picked up one of the larger pieces and then felt around in the smaller ones until she found the piece that fit. Then she held the two of them together for a long time before setting them down separately.

"She seems lost," said Count Bleck.

"Perhaps she's remembering what the house looked like in its prime," said Professor Bluth.

Count Bleck excused himself. He went back a fair distance and then teleported himself to Dimension D. The dimension was fairly empty, except for a small, round table with a porcelain tea service on top, and two chairs: one with Dimentio, and one with a chubby Samus doll.

"Oh, no don't bother alerting anyone to your entrance, just barge right into my dimension," said Dimentio. "Goodness knows we've done it to you enough times, it's about time you gave us as good as you got."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were entertaining," said Count Bleck.

"We're just catching up on old times," said Dimentio. "This isn't a date."

"Oh, of course not."

"So what brings you to my dimension?"

"I wanted to update you on that statue you don't like."

"Is it gone?"

"Yes, but not in the way you'd like. It turns out it was a person this whole time."

Dimentio took a sip of tea specifically so he could spit it back out. "You see?" he said angrily. "I told you there was something wrong about it."

"I think you should meet her," said Count Bleck.

"I will do no such thing."

"How can you be sure that you don't like her if you haven't?"

"One has ways of knowing these things, my dear Count."

"Oh? And what's yours?"

"Call it a hunch."

"Well, I can't force you… but I would be interested in your reaction."

"You don't trust me."

"It's not that," said Count Bleck. "More that I just want to make sure your feelings aren't overruling your intelligent reasoning."

"Very well," said Dimentio. "I will come back to the outpost with you. But my feelings will not change."

They both warped back to the desert.

Cinar was now outside the house. Goombella and Professor Bluth were watching her as she examined what looked to count Bleck like a pile of broken sticks and boards. Both of them were now covered with yellow glitter, but nobody seemed to mind. "Welcome back," said Goombella. "We're seeing if she can show us what this artifact we found was."

Cinar turned one of the pieces over slowly in her hands. Then, suddenly moving quickly, she took the dowel and put it through a knothole in one of the other boards. Immediately after that she picked up another piece, and fit it into a groove as well. She worked quickly, putting all the pieces together as they should, until she finished. Then she reached into one of the broken pots that still had its lower half intact and pulled out a spool of wool. She began stringing it on the machine's pegs.

"It's a loom!" said Goombella. "I was thinking that, but I couldn't figure out how it went together!"

"She did that quickly," said Professor Bluth. "I hope she knows this much about all her people's artifacts."

Just then Mimi came down the path into the pit, still in her pajamas with her sleeping mask on her forehead. "Hey, what's going on? Is Cinar here? I woke up and she was gone."

"Yes, she's with us," said Count Bleck. "We didn't want to wake you."

"Oh, okay. That's fine. Hey, did you guys see how she did my hair?"

Count Bleck took a closer look at Mimi. He couldn't see it when she had her head on her pillow, but her hair was different. Instead of pigtails, she now had one long braid in a fishtail pattern. "Pretty cool, right?"

"Very," said Count Bleck.

Mimi went up to Cinar, reached into her pajama pockets, and pulled out a necklace with a crazy lace pendant. "I forgot to give you this," she said. "Do you like it?"

Cinar looked at the pendant. Mimi nudged Cinar with it and held it in her open palm. Cinar took it, looked at Mimi for a reaction, then put it around her neck. Mimi smiled, and Cinar smiled back.

"Everybody likes her so far," said Count Bleck. "She's just a fish out of water trying to figure out how things work in our crazy new world."

"Yes, I see that, and yet I still have this feeling of dread," said Dimentio. "She's bringing something with her, if she isn't the catalyst of bad tidings herself."

"You really don't trust her?"

"With all my heart, I do not. I truly believe she is not to be trusted."

Count Bleck looked Dimentio in the eyes. Dimentio stared back, unflinching and unblinking.

"I believe you."

That made him blink. "I beg your pardon?"

"I believe you, repeated Count Bleck. If you think there's something wrong with her… well, I believe that there must be something suspicious about this."

"But… you really trust my judgment?"

"Yes."

"Thank you… that means a lot to me."

"Count Bleck will continue to keep an eye on things here. If you feel more comfortable, you may return to Dimension D."

"I will." And he did.


	6. Intermittant

The sun shone high in the sky. Mimi and Cinar were standing out in the desert, a little ways away from Tent City. Professor Bluth was talking with Professor Frankly, and the two girls were taking this opportunity to spend some time together without some stuffy researchers obsessing over every single thing Cinar did.

Shielding her eyes, Cinar looked up at the cloudless blue sky. She was mindlessly running her fingers over her yellow star wand.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" asked Mimi.

Cinar tilted her head sideways and looked at Mimi.

"You can't understand me, and I can't understand you, but I keep talking and you haven't said a word even in your own language. I call you Cinar, but I don't know your real name. I kinda wonder if you can talk at all."

Cinar looked back out over the desert. She stared ahead for a while, then pointed forward and looked back at Mimi, looking confused.

"See, I don't know if you want to know what's over there, or if we can go there, or if you see something that I don't and you can't tell me," said Mimi. "And, I don't want to freak you out, but I kinda want to show you something cool."

Cinar was listening, but her face blanked out. Talking to her was as good as not talking, and it turns out one of those is way easier.

Mimi sighed. "Okay. Watch this." She let loose a puff of smoke and transformed into an exact replica of Cinar.

Cinar squawked. It was a very different sound than her delighted shriek when Mimi had cracked her neck. It was obvious that Cinar knew perfectly well what she looked like, and pretty certain that she had never seen anything like this before. Slowly, Cinar held her hand out in the air between herself and Mimi. Mimi closed the gap and they pressed their identical palms together.

Cinar held up her wand.

"No," said Mimi, shaking her head. "I can't copy that."

Cinar knelt down and used the end of her wand to sketch something in the sand. Mimi watched over Cinar's shoulder as the figure took shape. It looked like a drawing of a pokey.

"You want to know if I can change into other things?" asked Mimi. She pointed to the drawing. "You want me to turn into that?"

Cinar pointed eagerly at the drawing, stabbing her finger into it a few times.

"Sure," said Mimi. She quickly transformed from a copy of Cinar into a tall, segmented pokey. "Like this?"

Cinar smiled and clasped her hands together.

Mimi turned back into herself and put her hand on Cinar's wand, then guided it to the sand. "Okay, I can do more. Show me what you want next."

For a while, that's what they did: Cinar drew something and Mimi turned into it. Mimi showed Cinar how she could turn into a bandit, a little mouser, a koopa, a goomba, a hoopster, a hammer sister, and a cobrat before Professor Frankly caught up with them.

"There you are," said Professor Frankly. "What are you doing?"

Mimi turned back to normal. Cinar sagged in disappointment. "Oh, nothing," said Mimi. "I was just showing Cinar my shape-shifting abilities."

"Well, I think it's time you came back to Tent City," said Professor Frankly. "I don't like you being so far away from everyone else. It's not safe."

"I'm not just some mini-boss, you know," said Mimi, "I'm a full-on boss battle. I can take care of Cinar against a few tweesters and bandits."

"I know you can," said Professor Frankly, "but it's better to play it safe. I just really don't want anything happening to her."

"Ugh." Mimi threw her head back and groaned, then turned to Cinar. "Okay, okay. Sorry, Cinar. We've got to go back now." Mimi took her hand and tugged. Cinar stayed put. "I mean it," said Mimi. "We've got to go back to the dig site."

Cinar turned her head and looked behind her, then back at Mimi, using her free hand to point.

"I know, I know. It's a big world out there and I want you to see it, too. But not right now. Soon, but not right now. I promise."

Cinar looked Mimi in the eye, with such intensity that Mimi wondered if Cinar actually had understood what had just been said to her. Then Cinar took a step forward and allowed herself to be led back to Tent City.

* * *

The dig site was rapidly expanding. After finding the house, instead of continuing down the archaeologists began to dig out, widening the hole even further in every direction except the west, where the mountain blocked them. They even had to take down the path to the north and relocate the southern end of Tent City after they found another house buried in the walls of the hole.

With Cinar's help, they were able to find the purpose of many artifacts. In return, she covered everyone who approached her with her glitter, until it was easy to tell who had met her that day and who hadn't. When they found broken tools, she showed them how to re-assemble them into saws, adzes, mallets, and stone polishers. They also found clothes, some not unlike the dress Cinar was wearing right then, but some were far fancier, with dyed threads and colored patterns woven in. Cinar found a particularly gorgeous one and wordlessly pleaded with Professor Frankly to allow her to wear it. When he did not, she threw it down and refused to help anyone in the dig site.

"You should let her wear it," said Count Bleck.

"I just don't want it to be damaged," said Professor Frankly. "It's a priceless historical artifact."

"Not to her," said Count Bleck. "She's been wearing that same drab dress since you unearthed her. Doesn't she deserve to look nice?"

"Of course she does," said Professor Frankly. "But at the cost of our artifact?"

"You're treating her like an artifact herself," warned Count Bleck. "She's a real person with real feelings and desires. She's not your living textbook."

"I know that," said Professor Frankly. "What makes you think I don't?"

"All you've done is used her to show you what things you find are," said Count Bleck. "Professor Bluth follows her around like a shadow and writes down everything she does. Every time you find something you drag her over to it and make her show you everything about it, even if it's something as simple as a pot. Between the two of you she can't have a moment alone."

Professor Frankly sighed. "If we expose her to the outside world, it might compromise the isolated information we get from her. I want to see what she can tell us about her past without it being influenced by what she learns about the future."

"So you're going to keep her tied up here forever?"

"Not forever, just until..."

"Until?"

"Look," said Professor Frankly sharply, turning to Count Bleck. "I know it's wrong. Okay? But you have to understand there's no precedent for this! We have never found a perfectly preserved creature from the past come back to life who can teach us how they used to live! And if anyone else did, I don't have their phone number and they never published a book about it! What am I supposed to do, just throw this opportunity away?"

"You wouldn't be throwing the entire thing away," said Count Bleck. "Just because a white cape gets a little dusty doesn't mean you can't still wear it, and it doesn't work as a cape. If you're really good at digging in the dirt, you'll be able to tell what's the dust and what's the cape."

"It's easy for you to say," said Professor Frankly, flicking Count Bleck's cape with his toe.

"Yes, but it's not easy for me to watch."

Professor Frankly sighed. "Look… when we were digging today, we found a trap door."

"In what?"

"We hit a layer of sandstone near the village."

"Interesting."

"Tomorrow Goombella, Dique, Nell, and I are going in to see what's there. I want some of yours to come with us."

"Well, O'Chunks and Mimi are good muscle. Nastasia should probably stay behind; she can take over guarding Cinar."

"Actually, I was thinking of leaving her in my trailer."

Count Bleck reached a finger into his ear hole and dug around a little. "I'm sorry, Count Bleck seems to have a terrible idea stuck in his ear, and as such, misheard your plan as one. Do you mind repeating yourself?"

"You know well and good what I said. I'm just going to put her in there and lock it from the outside. There's ventilation, she'll be fine. It should only be for a few hours."

"Count Bleck cannot stop you."

"So, are you coming?"

"Into the trapdoor?"

"Yes!"

"Yes," said Count Bleck. "Come what may, Count Bleck will protect you from whatever is down there. But as for up here..."

"Don't," said Professor Frankly.

Count Bleck closed his mouth tightly and said no more.


	7. Through the Trapdoor

The look of betrayal on Cinar's face was heartbreaking as Professor Frankly locked her in his trailer. She had just finished baptizing the small crowd in her glitter when he guided her into the trailer and closed the door behind her, locking it firmly with his key. He could see her through the open blinds, and after trying the door a few times, she just sat down on the floor and looked helpless. Professor Bluth was currently in Dry Dry Outpost, picking up his mail and sending copies of his notes so far back to Toad Town. He would not be back until the next day at the earliest.

"I hope she doesn't get lonely," said Mimi.

"I left her some crayons and paper," said Professor Frankly.

"She's not a child," said Count Bleck.

Currently the party was all gathered at the trapdoor: Dique, Nell, Professor Frankly, Goombella, Count Bleck, Mimi, O'Chunks, and Klasky the angry sun who was going to light the way inside the tunnel. The trap door was not too far away from the nearest uncovered house, but it felt like miles somehow. Everything seemed isolated. The sun was barely starting to come up, so the loneliness of night was still slightly upon them.

"Very well," said Professor Frankly. "Who would like to do the honors?"

"I'll do it," said O'Chunks. "This door won't know what chunked it."

The trap door, unfortunately, proved very easy to move, and O'Chunks opened it with ease. Trying to hide his disappointment, he held his hands open and said, "Eh… well, professors first, then?"

"Thank you," said Professor Frankly.

"Let's do this!" Goombella jumped excitedly.

Klasky hovered over the trap door so they could see down it. There was a set of stairs carved into the sandstone, but no one could see the bottom yet. Professor Frankly started carefully waddling down, followed by the other archaeologists, and then the minions and the Count.

The stairs went down, down, down, farther than the archaeologists cold ever hope to dig, farther than Dry Dry Ruins was originally buried, so far down Count Bleck almost expected to come up on the other side of the planet. Then, finally, the stairs ended and the ground evened out, leaving them in a long, narrow hallway.

Klasky dimmed himself so that his light only shone a few feet in front of them. "This is creepy," he said. "I kinda feel like someone is going to see me."

"There's no one down here but us," said Nell. "No need to worry."

"Yeah, but… maybe there is?"

"It's possible," said Count Bleck.

"What," said Nell, "possible that some creatures have been living under this trapdoor without access to the surface for a thousand years?"

"How do you know that trapdoor was the only way in?" said Count Bleck. "And besides, Cinar survived for a thousand years buried under the sand."

"You're not helping!" Goombella squawked. "Now _I'm_ getting creeped out!"

"Count," warned Professor Frankly, "I thought you were here to help us."

"I'm here to help _everyone_ ," Count Bleck corrected.

"Well, you're not helping _me._ "

"Can we just go forward?" Dique said. "Please?"

"Very well," said Count Bleck. As he was in the back, he was not the first one to start going forward, but the parade continued.

They went on for a while, until Goombella said, "We are definitely under the mountain right now."

"Indeed," said Professor Frankly. "I've been keeping a mental map."

"Ugh," said Mimi. "This is so boring and forever-taking. Are we almost done yet?"

"Not even close," said Count Bleck.

Mimi groaned dramatically.

"Enough of that."

"Sorry."

Finally, _finally_ , they came to a door. The door was so large that there had to be a cavern in front of it, and it stretched up and out as tall and wide as the Thousand Year Door itself. It was a single door, with no knob or handle, made of petrified wood. Klasky brightened himself up and hovered up in the air in front of the door, so that they could see the whole thing.

"Remarkable," said Professor Frankly.

" _Way_ cool," said Goombella.

"Well," said Count Bleck, "are we ready to open it?"

"I think so," said Professor Frankly. "O'Chunks, do you mind...?"

"Be glad to." O'Chunks put his hands against the door and gave it a good push. It didn't move right away, but after a few seconds of effort, the sound of stone sliding against stone grew louder and the door began to slowly give way until it opened into an enormous, and dark, cavern.

Klasky lowered himself and dimmed a little. "Oh, boy, here we go..."

"Nell, Dique, would you like to go in first?" asked Professor Frankly.

"Don't make us do it just 'cause you're scared," said Nell.

Goombella rolled her eyes. " _I'll_ go in," she said. "Come on, Klasky, light me up."

"I'm trying," said Klasky. "I'm just really nervous, you know? I'm afraid of the dark."

Mimi looked up at Klasky. "A sun who's afraid of the dark? … That's weird, right? Why is that weird?" She turned to Count Bleck. "Is that weird?"

"Sort of," said Count Bleck.

Klasky stayed low and lit the cavern enough so that they could see the area around themselves, but not out to the walls. They couldn't quite tell just how big the cavern actually was. Still, they could see two items of interest: a large, brass key sitting in the middle of the room, and an even larger stone treasure chest with a keyhole made of brass.

"Well, this is a no-brainer," said Goombella.

"Be careful," warned Professor Frankly.

"Careful is my middle name," replied Goombella as she waddled into the middle of the room.

Dique and Nell slowly followed behind her. Goombella hefted up the key and carried it on her head. "See? Piece of cake, right?"

Then, in the darkness, two glowing, narrow, red slits appeared, piercing through the shadows as if glaring intensely at the intruders.

"Uh-oh," said Goombella.

"Saw that coming," muttered Dique.

From out in the darkness came a phanto, an odd, mask-like guardian usually stationed underground in order to protect keys. It went straight for Goombella, as if her key were a homing beacon for it. Goombella screamed and threw the key as hard as she could, diving in the opposite direction so the phanto cut straight between them.

"Is it gone?" Goombella squinted, looking into the darkness where the phanto had disappeared.

Suddenly, the glowing red eyes returned, staring straight at her. Above them, another pair appeared. Then another. Then another, and another, until suddenly the walls were covered in red eyes, in front of them, behind them, and on the far wall, hundreds of pairs of eyes reaching up to the lofty ceiling. Above the treasure chest was the largest pair of all.

"Everybody out!" shouted Professor Frankly.

However long it had taken the group to make it into the cavern, it took about a tenth of that time to get out. The whole gang ran down the path and up the stairs so fast they almost got there before they initially left. As soon as they got out and in the open, Count Bleck threw his cape open and made a barrier between himself and Professor Frankly, Goombella, Dique, and Nell. Seeing his stance, O'Chunks took his position on one side of the Count and Mimi on the other, quickly taking her spider form. They were ready for a fight.

Only a few moments after the group made it back into the sun did the phantos emerge. It looked like a geyser had erupted, sending a thousand possessed masks into the air and separating in every direction imaginable. The sky was thick with phantos as they scattered, finally disappearing beyond the horizon.

All was still.

"Um... what the heck just happened?" asked Goombella.

Nell threw up her hands. "I am taking a break," she said. "I'm done for today, I'm going back to my tent and back to bed. I'll let you know when I'm done."

"Uh... that's fine," said Professor Frankly, still staring at the trapdoor where the phantos had emerged from. "Dique, Goombella, you... uh, you can go, too."

Dique scurried off with his friend right away. Goombella, however, stayed behind for a few minutes. "You okay, Professor?"

"I'm fine," said Professor Frankly. "Just a little winded, that's all... I don't think I've run that fast since I was younger than you are right now, Goombella."

"Yeah... I don't think I've ever run that fast in my _life_."

Count Bleck turned to Mimi and O'Chunks. "I need you to patrol the area," he said. "Go in opposite directions and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. If you need a break, don't take it at the same time as the other. Understand?"

"Yes, Count," said Mimi. O'Chunks nodded vigorously.

"Good." They left, as did Goombella.

"I'm going back to my office," said Professor Frankly.

"May Count Bleck follow?"

"Of course." Professor Frankly started heading to the ramp out of the pit. "You have something you want to say?"

"I just want to check up on Cinar," replied Count Bleck. "I feel bad leaving her alone."

"As do I," agreed Professor Frankly. "Looking back I believe it probably would have been better to take her along with us. She may have known the danger and how to avoid it."

"Hm."

Professor Frankly looked up at Count Bleck. "What do you mean, 'hm'?"

"Count Bleck merely made a noncommittal grunt."

"No, that was a judgmental grunt. I can tell."

Count Bleck looked down at Professor Frankly. "You're thinking of her like a tool again," he said. "I've made my feelings on that line of thinking very clear, I think."

"Well, it's hard to think of her as anything else, you know? She doesn't talk, she has very little personality..."

"She has a lot of personality if you take the time to adjust yourself to her way of communicating. She may not speak in words, but she has a lot to say and I think she knows you're not listening."

"I _am_ listening."

"Only to what you think will benefit you."

"Look, I don't want to have this argument again."

"Neither do I."

"Well, then why did you start it?"

"All Count Bleck said was 'hm'! That's hardly starting an argument."

They arrived at the trailer. Professor Frankly went in front and unlocked it, then opened the door. "I'm back, Cinar!" He stepped inside. Count Bleck stood outside in front of the steps.

A moment later, Professor Frankly reappeared. "She's not here."


	8. Glitter Sue

"Beg pardon?" Count Bleck went into the trailer behind Professor Frankly.

"I said, she's not here."

Count Bleck looked around in the trailer. As there weren't any places to hide, it was pretty obvious she wasn't there.

"The door was still locked, yes?" said Count Bleck.

"Yes," said Professor Frankly.

"The windows?"

"None of them currently open except the one with the air conditioner, and it's nailed in place. She couldn't have squeezed past unless she can compress herself into a tiny pancake."

"Well, toads don't have bones," mused Count Bleck. "Or wait. Do they?" Count Bleck looked down. "Do toads have bones?"

"Bones or not, there's no way she could get her cap through this gap."

"Well, it's the only opening there is."

"That doesn't make it any more possible for her to get through!"

"Wait." Count Bleck held up his hand. "We're focusing on the wrong part. We should be trying to find her before worrying how she got out."

"I'll grab some grad students and we'll set up a search party."

"I'll head into town and spread the word that we're looking for her," said Count Bleck. "If she doesn't go there, then at least word will spread that someone is missing."

"Good idea."

Before leaving, Count Bleck warped into Dimension D, where Dimentio was throwing cards into one of Count Bleck's spare top hats. "Back again?"

"I thought I would keep you updated," said Count Bleck. "Cinar is missing."

"Of course."

"I know you've made yourself clear, but could you _please_ go back to Tent City and help keep an eye out for her?"

"Are you asking me as a favor or ordering me as my Count?"

"Well... that depends," said Count Bleck. "Are you my minion or do you just live at my castle and sometimes do what I ask of you when you've nothing better to do?"

Dimentio thought about this, looking at Count Bleck as he did. Finally, very slowly, he said, "Because you trusted me when I shared my fear with you, then yes, I am your minion, and I will do what you order me to."

"Thank you," said Count Bleck. "I'm going to Dry Dry Outpost. I'll try to return as soon as I can."

Before he left, Count Bleck assigned Nastasia to do whatever Professor Frankly told her to, and found Tippi to accompany him. During the trek to the outpost, and while keeping his eyes out for Cinar, Count Bleck filled his wife in on everything that had happened that day, as well as recounted his conversations with Frankly about his concerns over the treatment of Cinar. He actually got a little sidetracked as he vented his frustrations, but Tippi listened with patience and understanding.

"For what it's worth, I agree with you," said Tippi as they neared the outpost. "I don't like how they're treating her, either, but I'm not sure what exactly to do about it."

"Well, maybe the decision has been made for us," said Count Bleck.

When they got into town, they ran almost immediately into Professor Sullivan Bluth. "Count Bleck!" said Professor Bluth. "What a surprise, running into you here! What brings you out this way?"

"Bad news," said Count Bleck. "Cinar has disappeared.

"Disappeared? What? How? Who was watching her?"

"No one. Professor Frankly locked her in his trailer, and when he got back, she was gone. The door was locked and the windows couldn't be opened, but there you are."

"Impossible! He must have overlooked-"

"It doesn't matter!" Count Bleck cut in. "Right now we need to get the word out that she's gone and we're looking for her, and we're losing time."

"Right, of course, sorry."

"Actually, I need to make a quick stop. Tippi, do you think you could-"

"I'll get started," said Tippi.

"Thank you." Count Bleck hurried through the outpost to Moustafa's house. To get there, Count Bleck usually had to go through an empty house on the edge of the outpost, which led to a pile of boxes one could climb to reach the roof. Moustafa's house was situated on top of another building. Count Bleck was about to open the door to the empty house, when it opened in front of him. Moustafa started to exit, but stopped short when he saw Count Bleck standing there.

"The nice guy returns," said Moustafa. "Were you on your way to see me? Have you uncovered the Crazy Lace Heart, then?"

"Actually, I forgot all about it," said Count Bleck. "Something far more serious is going on." He quickly explained who Cinar was and that she was missing.

"Interesting," said Moustafa. "I have connections of my own, I can set them to searching the desert for her before the sun sets. Just say the word."

"I'm saying it," said Count Bleck. "Please. I'm worried about her."

"If I were you, I wouldn't be," said Moustafa. "I don't doubt her ability to take care of herself."

Count Bleck turned around to leave. As soon as he did, a wave of glitter fell in front of him. Count Bleck looked down at the ground, and then looked up. There, standing on top of the empty house, was Cinar.

She looked different, though. Her hair had been cut off on her right side, and her clothes were new: she now wore light blue ripped denim shorts, black boots, a leopard-print vest, and a hot pink bandanna around her neck. The only thing about her that was still the same were her spots and the pendant Mimi had given her. And, of course, her wand, which she was waving back and forth slowly, letting a volley of glitter fall over Count Bleck.

"Now," said Cinar, "What brings you all the way out here? Were you looking for lil' ol' me?"

Count Bleck looked up at her in silence for a minute. Then he said slowly, "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you could talk."

"Well, I didn't before," she said. Cinar then jumped from the roof into the alleyway beside the house, kicked off the wall of the opposite building, back to Moustafa's house, which she kicked off again before she landed on the ground. She threw her hands up. "Ta-da!" she sang.

"Very nice," said Count Bleck.

"I know, right? Thank you."

Moustafa stood next to Count Bleck. "I take it this is the Cinar you were telling me about?"

"Yes," said Count Bleck.

"And, for the record," said Cinar, holding up her finger and leaning in between them, "I appreciate you not just calling me 'hey, you, statue lady,' but I want you to know my real name is Glitter Sue."

"Glitter Sue," repeated Count Bleck.

"Glitter Sue," said the toad. "Not one or the other, but both. Please and thank you."

"Well... Glitter Sue," said Count Bleck, "since you can talk now, I'd like to ask you: would you like to go back to the dig site?"

"Yes, I would," said Glitter Sue. "You have to understand, I've been wearing that ugly dress for so long. I wanted to look nice for once. I had no idea they had such nice clothes in the future!" She twirled around on one foot. "I can't wait to show Mimi."

"She'll be... surprised," said Count Bleck. He wasn't entirely sure that Glitter Sue wasn't committing a horrible fashion faux pas, but even if she was Mimi would probably like it. She was very forgiving of fashion disasters if she loved the person committing them.

"I'll call off the search, then," said Moustafa.

"Thank you for your willingness to help, by the way," said Count Bleck.

"It's nothing," said Moustafa. "Anything for a nice guy such as yourself."

Glitter Sue reached over and tapped Moustafa's head with her glitter wand, covering him in sparkling gold glitter. "Thank you from me, too," she said.

Count Bleck took Glitter Sue by the hand. "Excuse the closeness," said Count Bleck, "I just don't want to get separated. Let's go find my wife."

"I didn't know you were married," said Glitter Sue as they set off.

"You've met my wife before. It's Tippi, the pixl."

"That little fairy with the rainbow wings?" Glitter Sue looked impressed. "You married that? Well done!"

"Thank you," said Count Bleck. "Ah, and there she is."

Count Bleck saw Professor Bluth and Tippi near the post office, and he hurried to meet them. Professor Bluth saw Glitter Sue and beamed. "You found Cinar!"

"Glitter Sue," Count Bleck corrected. Glitter Sue smiled.

"Pardon?" Professor Bluth looked confused.

"She can talk now," said Count Bleck. "She told me her name is Glitter Sue."

"Is that her real name?" asked Professor Bluth. "It sounds like something she's picked for herself to go with her new outfit."

"Why don't you ask her yourself," said Count Bleck.

"Thank you," said Glitter Sue. "And yes, that has been my name since the day I was born. It's pronounced differently in my old language but that's what it means for you."

"So... you've been exploring modern culture?"

"What?" Glitter Sue smirked. "Are you worried I'm tainted now? That I can't give you a pure look at my ancient life because it's getting mixed up with Modern Times?"

"What? No, no, it's-"

"Yes, you are," said Glitter Sue. "I can read you like a papyrus scroll."

"Why can you suddenly speak our language, though?" asked Professor Bluth.

Glitter Sue waved her wand. "I'm not. The wand is translating for us right now. I'm just speaking my own language but what everyone hears is what makes sense to them. And I can hear what you're saying, but the wand is engraving your language into my brain so that I can learn to speak it faster. A few weeks of this and I'll be fluent even without magic."

"So... the wand is magic."

"Yeah. Why, where did you think all the glitter was coming from?"

"I didn't really think about it," admitted Professor Bluth.

"Well, it is. So do you guys want to stand around all day asking questions or do you want to go home?" She smiled eagerly. "I can't wait to show Mimi my new clothes."

* * *

Mimi was ecstatic when she was introduced to the new Glitter Sue. "Ohmygosh! I love your new outfit!" she squealed.

"I know, right? I've never seen this color before!" Glitter Sue tugged at her jeans. "Or this one!" She flicked her bandanna. "And I've never seen a pattern like this before," she finished, pulling at the ends of her vest.

"Oh, my gosh, you have _so much_ to catch up on fashion-wise!" Mimi grabbed Glitter Sue's hands. "I have an entire summer wardrobe to show you. Wait- do you think we're the same size?"

"Uh, more or less," said Glitter Sue. She held her wand up flat at the top of her head and moved it over to Mimi.

"No, I mean, like, could our clothes be the same size? Because I just this second realized if we were we could totally share outfits!"

Mimi took Glitter Sue back to her tent and her trunk of summer clothes. Count Bleck and Tippi watched them go.

"I'm glad they're such good friends," said Tippi.

"Count Bleck is, as well. It's good that someone here sees her as a person first and a living relic second."

Dimentio warped in behind them. "Good evening," he said. "I heard the monstrosity has returned."

"She can talk now," said Count Bleck, turning to face Dimentio. "Her name is Glitter Sue."

"Ah. So we are no longer calling her Cinar?"

"It seems not."

"Good. I wasn't fond of that name."

"Count Bleck was, but he respects her wishes."

Dimentio nodded. "Then, if you don't mind, I am returning to Dimension D."

"As you wish. If I need you again, I'll come find you."

"She's getting glitter _everywhere_ , by the way," said Dimentio.


	9. The New Village

_I added a little something at the end of the last chapter; it's not important, but somehow it was on the wrong side of the chapter division I set out for this and I didn't want to cut it entirely, so I just slipped it in where it should have been in the first place._

* * *

Count Bleck woke the next morning and felt immediately uneasy. He was in his sleeping bag in his tent, as he had been every morning since arriving in the desert, and yet something felt different. He rolled over and saw that he was alone; the little pillow upon which his wife slept was empty. Count Bleck sat up, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and left the tent.

Tent City was abandoned. It was still clearly early, the sun not quite up yet. Count Bleck rarely woke this early on his own, and when he did he was still exhausted. But now he felt wide awake. Even this early, though, he knew that the others were already up and around at this point. Usually, there would be monsters going for breakfast, getting their tools ready, stopping at each other's tents for a visit, and coordinating the rest of the day. Yet now, everything was still.

Count Bleck looked in several tents on his way to the dig site, and they were all unoccupied. However, the closer he got to the pit, the more dull noise he could hear, like the collective murmurs of a crowd. The noise reached its apex when Count Bleck reached the rim of the hole. Down below, he saw the unearthed village, and what looked like the entire population of archaeologists and grad students.

All of them were dressed in the same kind of cloth that Glitter Sue was first unearthed in. At this point, there were several homes that had been uncovered, and a large number of the archaeologists were working on restoring them, patching the walls and weaving new thatched roofs. Several others were working at the old looms, making more old garments. A few were digging what looked like a well. Everyone else was expanding the hole. All of them, every single one, was covered in glitter.

Glitter Sue was sitting on a lawn chair next to the house she was found in. She was leaning back, wearing a pair of sunglasses and drinking from a straw stuck in half a coconut. When Count Bleck approached her, she leaned forward and lifted up her glasses. "Hey, Count," she called, waving her wand.

"What's going on here?" asked Count Bleck.

"Oh, it's great. Everyone's bringing my village back," said Glitter Sue. "See? It's just like it was before. Everyone working together for the good of the community."

"They seem… different," said Count Bleck.

"Do they?" Glitter Sue looked around. "I hadn't noticed.

Count Bleck nodded. "They really do," he said.

"Well. I'll leave that to your better judgment. You've known them longer than I have." She put her sunglasses back down and leaned back in her seat.

Just then, Mimi passed by. Count Bleck noticed Mimi was wearing the dress that Professor Frankly had refused to let Glitter Sue wear. "Mimi, what are you doing in that?"

Mimi smiled, then twirled around, a small cascade of glitter falling from her. "Isn't it pretty? Glitter Sue says this is the kind of dress a Pharaoh's daughter would wear."

"Yes," said Count Bleck, "and Professor Frankly explicitly forbade Glitter Sue from wearing it."

"Well, it's not really his to forbid," said Mimi. "It belongs to Glitter Sue. This whole place belongs to Glitter Sue."

"It does," agreed Glitter Sue. "This is my village, and I'm the last survivor, so it belongs to me. That was the law of my people."

Count Bleck looked around until he spotted Professor Frankly, who was chipping away at the south wall with a small pick in his mouth. Count Bleck went over to him and tapped him on the top of his head with the end of his cane.

"Yes?" Professor Frankly looked up. "You want something?"

"Yes," said Count Bleck. "Why did you change your mind about Glitter Sue's dress?"

"I didn't have the right to refuse her," said Professor Frankly. "It's not my dress."

"I already told you that and you refused to give in. Why now?"

Professor Frankly looked up at Count Bleck, confused. "I don't understand the question."

"Never mind," said Count Bleck. "Uh, you've got some glitter on your..." he trailed off. Professor Frankly still looked up at him.

Count Bleck looked around. He didn't see any of his other people, which concerned him. Where were Nastasia, Tippi, and O'Chunks? Count Bleck assumed Dimentio was still tucked away in Dimension D. He quickly and quietly warped himself there.

Dimentio was sitting on the ground, leaning against a large, gray rock and reading a book with a blank cover. When he saw Count Bleck, he closed the book and put it aside. "Ah, and my Count returns, like the owner to an excited, tail-wagging puppy." He paused. "Except I'm not the puppy."

"You know how you've been having this feeling of foreboding ever since this mission started?"

"Yes, I am quite aware of that."

"Well, it's finally happened."

"In what way?"

"Everybody is acting strange. Are you going to help fix it or will you remain here until the situation is resolved."

"Help you fix it, of course," said Dimentio. "If I have permission to use the amount of force I feel necessary."

"I will give you anything short of lethal," said Count Bleck.

"I'll take it. Let's go back."

* * *

Deep, deep underground, past the trapdoor, in the Chamber of the Phantos, two phantos were left: Toei and Ghibli. It was now pitch black, as they were so far removed from the surface no sun's rays could ever hope to pierce the chamber. The treasure chest was safe, as the key rested exactly where Goombella had thrown it.

"Why didn't you run with the others?" Toei asked Ghibli.

"Because they dropped the key," said Ghibli. "That's all I'm here for, isn't it? That's all we've always been here for."

"Given how long we've been guarding it, I'm not surprised that the others took this opportunity to defend it so excessively."

"Do you think they'll be back?"

"I think so," said Toei, "eventually."

"Do you think we'll be able to protect the chest all by ourselves?"

"Not by ourselves," said Toei. "We still have Vanguard."

At the mention of its name, the red eyes of the giant phanto on the wall began to glow, bathing the chamber in an eerie red light.

"Vanguard will protect us," said Ghibli. "Right?"

"Why do you seek so much reassurance?" asked Toei. It began to float in slow circles around Ghibli, who had to rotate slowly to continue making eye contact. "You know no more than I do. The answers are just as much in you as in me."

"I don't know," Ghibli said, looking down for a moment. "I've never been this alone before. I'm worried I made the wrong choice to stay behind." He looked back up at Toei. "That's why you stayed behind, isn't it?"

Toei looked at the chest before looking back at Ghibli.

"Isn't it?"

"I stayed for the chest, and for Vanguard."


	10. Sunshine

Dimentio, Nastasia, Tippi, and Count Bleck were all standing on the edge of the pit looking down at the village below. For that was what it had become, a fully functional village, with houses and residents and roles to fill and work to do. The archaeologists had uncovered a great deal of it, the well was coming along nicely, and the buildings were being repaired and restored to like-new condition.

"I don't get it," said Count Bleck. "It's like they all just gave up their ambition and decided they wanted to live in this village."

At that moment, Dique scurried behind them. Count Bleck grabbed his shoulder. "Hold on a moment, please," he said.

"Uh, okay?" said Dique. "What's going on?"

"Nastasia, would you be so kind as to attempt one of your patented brainwashing stares on this fellow?"

"Yeah, I think I can do that." Nastasia pulled up her glasses and there was a blinding flash of white light that hit the glitter covering Dique and sent the light dancing in every direction. For just a moment it was spectacular, but it was over almost as soon as it began.

"Is that all?" asked Dique. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, you're done," said Nastasia. "Go back to what you were doing."

Dique continued scurrying along, back to Tent City.

"It doesn't work," said Nastasia. "Yeah, so I don't know what's going on, but that was the strongest blast I had. He should be down on his knees or whatever he has pledging his eternal and undying loyalty to you, Count. But it looks like he didn't even notice."

"That's odd," said Tippi. "The only person I've never seen your brainwashing work in is…" and here she turned to her husband, "well, you, Blumiere."

"Do you think they could be under some sort of hypnosis that's more powerful than yours, Nastasia?" asked Count Bleck.

"I'm almost certain of it," said Nastasia, "but I don't know what they all have in common- including Mimi and O'Chunks- that we don't share."

All of them were quiet for a moment as thought.

Finally, Dimentio spoke up: "The glitter."

All of them immediately turned to the hole to see the residents below. Each and every single one of them was covered in glitter. And there was Glitter Sue, still lying on her lawn chair, idly waving her wand and letting glitter cascade from it.

"Glitter Sue," said Count Bleck. "That would explain why you are not affected, and Timpani, but Nastasia and I do have glitter on ourselves."

"It's possible I'm immune because of my own brainwashing power," said Nastasia. "And, well, I never was able to use my powers on you, even if I wanted to."

"That's true," said Count Bleck. "Wait- when you wanted to?"

"But how is she actually doing it?" asked Nastasia.

"Obviously she's controlling them with the wand," said Dimentio. "But to what end? And, more importantly, how do we stop it?"

"Perhaps if we were to get the glitter off..." Tippi was thinking out loud.

Nastasia snorted. "Sorry… but have you _ever_ tried to get glitter off? Yeah, it sticks everywhere."

"That's true."

"Tippi, you're reasonable," said Nastasia. "Why don't you try talking to Glitter Sue while the rest of us cook up a plan B?"

"Good idea," said Tippi. "I'll be back soon."

Tippi fluttered down into the pit and ended up hovering next to Glitter Sue's head. Now she was sitting next to Professor Sullivan Bluth, who was writing away in his notebook, pencil clutched in his teeth.

"See?" Glitter Sue was saying. "They've all been 'tainted' by your modern ways, but they can still give you an accurate look at what life was like for me."

Tippi cleared her throat. "So… this is what life was like for you, then?"

Glitter Sue stuck the end of her wand in her ear hole and dug around a little. "Is there an echo out here? Yeah, this is how we lived. Look at it. Isn't it lovely?"

"It is," said Tippi. "You must have been very happy here."

"Oh, I was."

"So I can see why you'd want that again."

"M-hm."

"But don't you think it isn't fair to everyone else?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… well, they're all doing what you want them to. But they can't do what they want to do."

"Yes, they can. This _is_ what they want to do."

"But isn't that only because you made them want to?"

"Whether or not they were forced to want to, the truth of the matter is that they want to. If you wanted something very badly, and I told you you didn't really want it and only thought you did, would that automatically make you stop wanting it? Like, if I told you you didn't really want to be with your hot husband?"

"I suppose not," said Tippi, "and thank you, he is quite the looker, but I still don't think it's morally correct to force someone to want something, and then simply sit back and say, well they want it. Because they wouldn't have on their own. You're still doing something wrong."

"I disagree," said Glitter Sue.

At that time, Dimentio drifted from the edge of the pit to straight over their heads, letting his toes dangle below him as was his way. "Very interesting," said Dimentio, "and any other time I would be perfectly happy to discuss abstract morality with you, but for right now I think I'd just like to end your game." He brought up a large purple and yellow dazzle ball between his hands.

Glitter Sue held up her wand and it began to glow. At that, every single 'villager' dropped what they were doing and moved in around her, effectively giving her a meat shield. "If you don't like it when I quote-unquote 'control' them, then I'm certain you don't want them to come to any harm. Are you ready to smash everyone to get through to me?"

"I am," said Dimentio, lifting up the ball.

"I'm not!" Count Bleck barked. "Dimentio! Get back here."

Dimentio lowered his hands and the magic ball dissipated. "As you wish." He floated back to the ground next to Count Bleck. "I thought it was at least worth a try."

"It was," said Count Bleck.

"What I want to know," said Nastasia slowly, "is where that wand gets its power."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, think about it. She was an underground statue for something like a thousand years, right? So it seems reasonable to assume that the only reason she didn't break free was because she _couldn't_."

"Yes, Count Bleck agrees that's reasonable."

"So why now? Why when we dug her up did she suddenly come to life? Why after a few weeks was she only just able to start using her magic to speak our language? Why, if she's been spreading glitter this whole time, is she only now using it to control anyone? What's the common link?"

Count Bleck thought about every time he'd seen Glitter Sue: the evening when they had dug her up, in the trailer with the blinds closed…

… in the evening, when the sun was setting so low that the entire dig site was covered in shadow…

… in the trailer, where when the blinds were drawn, the statue moved…

… in the sun, for the first time, when the stone chipped away and revealed the toad underneath.

"The sun," said Count Bleck slowly.

"Beg pardon?" asked Tippi.

"The sun, repeated Count Bleck! She didn't start showing any signs of magic until the first time she was put in the sun! She's a desert magician who gets her magic from the sun!"

"That makes sense!" Nastasia sounded excited. "If her wand needs the sun to charge, then she wouldn't have had any magic trapped in her house or underground."

"And if that's true," Dimentio continued, "then if we wait until nightfall, then we can force her to use up her remaining magic and then we'll have her!"

"Once she doesn't have a shield, we can send her somewhere with no sun until we figure out what to do with her," said Count Bleck.

"Somewhere like, say, Castle Bleck?" suggested Dimentio.

Count Bleck tapped his face above his mouth.

"I don't get that gesture," said Dimentio.

"Don't worry about it, said Nastasia.

"We might try teleporting her now," said Dimentio, "as that wouldn't hurt her guards."

"Possibly not, but she still might lash out. I'd rather play it safe and at least attempt to deplete her magic before attempting anything like that."

"All right," said Nastasia. "So. We wait until nightfall."


	11. Count Bleck vs Glitter Sue

The village looked idyllic from above. Had one not known the residents were basically enslaved, one might think it looked like a tiny little paradise carved out of the ground. When night fell, Glitter Sue allowed everyone to go home to the various huts and houses in the unearthed village. She herself stayed on her lawn chair, keeping Mimi, O'Chunks, and Goombella nearby.

"I kept you because I've seen you're good at fighting," said Glitter Sue.

"Wait, when did you see Goombella fight?" asked Mimi.

"When Dique tried cutting in the chow line," replied Glitter Sue. "Remember? Her headbonk is the stuff of legends."

"Oh, right," said Mimi. "Tee-hee. That was fun."

"So, I have a feeling that now that the sun's gone down, some of my enemies are gonna want to rumble with me," said Glitter Sue. "So, um, maybe you could deal with that?"

"Sure!" Mimi chirped.

"Yeh can count on me," said O'Chunks, flexing.

"I'm in," said Goombella. "I'll bonk anyone who tries to mess up this village."

"Great," said Glitter Sue.

Meanwhile, Count Bleck, Dimentio, Nastasia, and Tippi were watching from the ridge. "All right," said Count Bleck, "there's four of them and four of us... but I don't think it's an even match. We're going to have to exhaust Glitter Sue without hurting any of our friends."

"I can distract O'Chunks," said Dimentio. "He's the strongest and I'm the fastest. I'll lead him away."

"Let me take Goombella," said Tippi. "I don't know if I can handle any of the others, but I'm sure I can distract Goombella."

"Good," said Nastasia. "That gives me a chance to work with Mimi."

"Which leaves Glitter Sue for Count Bleck," said Count Bleck. "Perfect. Remember: draw them apart. They're strongest when they're together."

Count Bleck put his hand out. Nastasia reached out and put her hand on top of his. Dimentio added his hand in, and Tippi landed on top of all three of them. "Let's go!" said Count Bleck, and they all threw their hands (and entire bodies, in one case) up triumphantly.

"Glitter Sue!" Count Bleck boomed as he and his small team jumped into the pit. "We're here to put a stop to this!"

Glitter Sue sat up and lifted up her glasses. "Oh, is that so?" she turned to the others. "Okay, I knew this was coming eventually. Didn't think it would be at night, but you know, whatever. It's good."

Mimi jumped up and cracked her neck, beginning her transformation into Spider Mimi. "Mimimimimimimimi! I'll knock 'em all out for you!"

Glitter Sue pointed to Mimi. "I love how you do that, by the way," she said. "I don't think I ever said that out loud but I love how you do that."

"Thanks!"

Dimentio floated up to O'Chunks. "Does a mighty warrior like yourself think he can take down the likes of me, the Master of Dimensions?"

"Master of dimensions, eh? Well, whatever dimension we're in I'll break yeh in half like a carrot!"

O'Chunks swung his fist. Dimentio deftly dodged. O'Chunks swung again. Dimentio dodged the other way.

"Hold still an' let me chunk yeh!"

"But if I hold still, will it really be a proper chunking?"

A few feet over, Mimi was throwing rubees at Nastasia, who was darting left and right to dodge them as she ran up to Mimi. "Mimi, this is your superior talking! If you don't stop this foolishness at once, you are grounded! Do you hear me?"

"You can't ground me!" Mimi crowed. "I don't work for you anymore! I work for Glitter Sue and she would _never_ ground me! And she lets me stay up past bedtime!"

As soon as Nastasia got close to Mimi, she threw her legs out and slid straight into her, knocking aside three of her spider legs at once.

"Ouch!" Mimi plopped a rubee down, just barely missing Nastasia.

Meanwhile, Tippi was darting around Goombella's head like a fly, confusing her and spinning her around in a circle. The one time Goombella tried to headbonk Tippi, she had been so turned around that she missed by a mile and bonked her head right on the ground.

Glitter Sue stood up on her lawn chair and stepped off. "Don't think I don't see what you're doing," she said, cradling her wand's star in her left hand while holding the rod with her right. She twirled it slowly. "So, you've got your minions ready to distract my assistants... you think you can take me in a fight. You thought wrong. Do you even know who I am? Who I was?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

Glitter Sue held her wand straight out to her side, and quickly traced a circle around her the length of her arm, leaving a glowing trail. "I am the guardian of this village. I was created by the ancient ones and gifted this very wand, so that I may harness the power of the sun. My whole life, I gave to protect these people."

"So what happened?" asked Count Bleck. "Why was your village abandoned?"

"That doesn't matter," said Glitter Sue. "I am the guardian. My sole purpose in life is and has always been to protect this village, and you are not the first to attempt to stop me. I have always risen to meet the challenge. Do you truly believe you are the strongest foe to face me?"

Count Bleck looked at her, his face stoic. He did not respond.

"Do you want to see what I am capable of?"

"Yes," he said. "I do."

Glitter Sue pointed her wand at the ground in front of her. There was a spark of light, and she was catapulted into the air, landing neatly on the edge of the pit. She threw hear arms out and cheered, "Ta da!" before she turned around and gestured for Count Bleck to follow.

"Go with her," said Nastasia as she dodged two of Mimi's rubees. "We'll hold down the fort here!"

"Hey, where are you going?" Goombella stopped fighting Tippi and turned around.

"I'll be back shortly," said Glitter Sue. "Take a break if you want. Or not. You know, whatever."

O'Chunks, who was still throwing punches at a dodging Dimentio, stopped.

"Well, I'm sure a noble warrior such as yourself doesn't need a break," said Dimentio. "But I am exhausted like a boyfriend at the last store of a mall-wide shopping expedition. Please, could you see your way clear into allowing me a moment to catch my breath before we continue?"

Panting, O'Chunks nodded. "O'course... wouldn't be a fair fight otherwise." He sat down and continued trying to draw in as much air as possible.

Up in the desert, a distance from Tent City, Glitter Sue was walking with her back to Count Bleck. Count Bleck saw his chance, and immediately tried to grab her in a teleportation warp. However, at the last second, the sand directly beneath Glitter Sue shot straight up in the air, and was teleported instead. She landed neatly on the ground the instant afterwards.

Glitter Sue turned around, smirking. She held her arms out as the sand beneath her and all around her began to rise in a large pillar, lifting her up. "I control the sands."

She pointed her wand and began to spin it around in small, quick circles. The air around it began to move quickly, until it had created a small tornado, which she set free. It turned upright and stood behind her. "I control the winds."

Then Glitter Sue held her wand high above her head. A very thin, concentrated beam of light shot straight out of it and hit Count Bleck's top hat directly in the center. A small stream of smoke emitted from the spot before the light burned a tiny hole straight through. "I control the sunlight."

Glitter Sue pointed her wand in a direction behind her and a little to the left. Count Bleck turned to look. At first, nothing was happening. Then he saw a small blob appear in the distance, approaching them fast. When it got close to them, Count Bleck recognized it as a blob of water, held together by sheer glitter power and hovering in the air above the sand. Glitter Sue dropped her wand, and the water fell and splashed directly on Count Bleck. Count Bleck did not flinch; he stood with his back straight, dripping all over, looking Glitter Sue in the eye as she spoke: "I control the water, what little there is.

"I control the desert, Count Bleck. The desert itself is my friend and my tool, which I use to protect what is mine. Do you want to go up against the entire desert?"

"If that is what it takes to stop you," said Count Bleck, "then that is what I will do."

"Have it your way." Glitter Sue flicked her wand and sent the tornado straight to Count Bleck.

Count Bleck tried to dodge, but the miniature twister was far faster than he had anticipated, and could reach him from a large distance. It sucked him in and spun him around a few times before spitting him out to crash into the sand pillar Glitter Sue was standing on. She jumped off it, and the moment her feet left the ground the pillar collapsed, covering Count Bleck completely.

Glitter Sue then held her wand up, and the sand surrounding Count Bleck seemed to tighten and harden around him. She had shaped the sand into a giant fist which was squeezing him tightly and lifting him in the air. "Well? Aren't you going to do something?" asked Glitter Sue. The way she cocked her head upon asking, and the tone of voice she used, made it sound more like a question asked out of genuine curiosity and not a suspicious battle inquiry.

"As a matter of fact..." Count Bleck grinned slyly. "Count Bleck _is!_ " At that moment, he was able to flip out of danger and re-appear directly behind his attacker. Without him to hold, the fist collapsed in on itself. Count Bleck threw a ball of dark energy straight at Glitter Sue. She spun around as soon as he did, and at the last second threw up another sand shield. The sand exploded when the magic hit it, sending sand flying in every direction, including both of their eyes.

Count Bleck had one eye protected by his monocle, so he still had half his vision as he hunched over and desperately tried to blink out the invading particles. Because of this, he could see Glitter Sue tap her nose with the star, and all of the sand immediately fell from her face. She then glared at Count Bleck and threw a dazzling bright glitter ball in his direction.

Count Bleck dodged as quickly as he could. Then, using the speed he already built up, he charged full force at Glitter Sue. He rammed right into her, knocking her down. From his standing position, it seemed to him that he had caused noticeable damage.

Glitter Sue threw the wand up and immediately the sand below Count Bleck rocketed straight up, much like her pillar had been, but far, far higher. As soon as he was high in the air, it collapsed, leaving him floating. No doubt that attack usually worked much better on enemies who couldn't float, but she seemed like she hadn't thought of that. Count Bleck carefully let himself down.

Glitter Sue was slowly swirling her wand around above her head, creating another tornado. This one was larger than the previous one. Count Bleck then realized she had known he wouldn't fall- she merely needed some extra time to create this monstrosity.

The tornado was big, and it sucked in everything around it. As soon as Glitter Sue set it free it sucked in Count Bleck and spun him around more times than he could count in under ten seconds. When he was so dizzy he thought his head would fall off, it spat him out with all the force he had collected and he was thrown hard into the ground.

Glitter Sue was standing over him on a sand pedestal as she brought up two large sand fists. "It's over, your lordship," she said. "If you agree to give up this silly crusade, I'll allow your game to continue. If you have an ace up your sleeve, now is the time to play it."

Count Bleck, still trying to see straight after his tornado spin, looked up at the nine heads of Glitter Sue currently swimming above him.

"No ace, eh? Then do you yield?"

"No," said Count Bleck. "Even if we stop this fight I will _never_ stop trying to free those you've enslaved."

Glitter Sue sighed. "Well, then... that's a shame. Not that it matters, but I really do like you, Count Bleck. I'm sorry it has to be this way."

"It doesn't, though."

"Yes. It does." She brought her wand down with all the speed possible, sending the fists to crush Count Bleck's body.

As they came down to Count Bleck, however, they slowed. By the time they reached him, they were barely moving at all, and simply fell apart, covering him with harmless sand.

"Cute," said Glitter Sue. She tapped her wand a few times. "It's run out of sunshine."

"Then I was right," said Count Bleck. "It relies on the power of the sun to make its magic."

"Oh, you figured that out? You're so smart!" Glitter Sue beamed at him. "Yes, it relies on the power of the sun, which I could not harness hidden away like I was. And I've used up far more magic than I meant to. I guess I just got a little carried away. I haven't fought like that since Lai- well, since forever."

Count Bleck sat up, finally regaining his balance. "What say you now?"

Glitter Sue smirked as she looked back up at Count Bleck. "Oh, what's that? I'm sorry, did you think this is over?"


	12. But Now, We Must Wait

Count Bleck regarded Glitter Sue cautiously. Even without her magic, she was still standing proudly with her head held high. "What are you going to do without your wand?" he asked.

Glitter Sue shot Count Bleck a playful smirk. "I'm sorry, who said I had to fight without my wand?"

"Did you not _just_ say that you were out of power?"

"Not for long," said Glitter Sue. She put her fingers in her mouth and let out the loudest, shrillest whistle imaginable.

All was still for four seconds. Then, approaching from a distance, came a bright ball of light. Count Bleck watched frozen in horror as he realized what it was.

Glitter Sue waved with both hands over her head. "Klasky! Yoo-hoo! I'm over here!"

Klasky the angry sun came to rest directly over her head. "What's up?" he chirped. "You need a favor?"

Glitter Sue held the wand over her head. "I just need you to hang there and be beautiful." She winked.

"Oh, you."

"Thanks, you're an angel." Glitter Sue, now bathed in his sunlight, brought the fists back up out of the sand. "Now, where were we? I believe I was about to bid a bittersweet farewell to the best man I ever fought?"

Count Bleck looked up at Klasky, then at the fists. He tried to stand up, putting his hands on the ground and pushing up, but he simply fell back down. He considered yielding, but he knew he would never stop fighting her, and she knew it as well. So he closed his eyes and bowed his head. He heard a rushing in his ears as the fist came to meet him.

Suddenly, he felt himself warp, and the fist never came. Count Bleck opened his eyes and saw that he was in Dimension D. Dimentio was hovering over him, a nervous expression on his mask. Count Bleck looked around and saw Nastasia and Tippi were there as well.

"Blumiere!" Tippi flew straight into him. He cradled her in his hands. "Oh, thank the stars themselves! I thought for sure you- I don't know what I would do without you!"

Nastasia knelt down beside Count Bleck and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you hurt?" she asked.

"Banged up and bruised, but nothing serious. She spun me around and slammed me down so hard I was having a little trouble moving and flipping, but I'm already getting better."

Nastasia breathed a sigh of relief. Dimentio landed on the ground. "It was sheer luck I saw you," he said. "I was taunting O'Chunks by going slightly higher every time I dodged, and then I saw Klasky and realized our plan would not work."

"I didn't even consider an angry sun would have enough power," said Count Bleck. "The plan was foolish."

"We didn't have enough information going in," said Nastasia. "We'll lay low here and hash out what we've learned. We'll come back with a better plan."

Count Bleck closed his eyes and leaned back until he was lying on the ground. "Right now it seems hopeless."

"Things have seemed hopeless before," said Tippi, "but we always figure something out."

Count Bleck smiled. "I think... I need to rest a bit."

"I understand," said Nastasia.

"How are O'Chunks and Mimi?"

"They're fine," said Nastasia. "Completely unharmed."

Count Bleck's eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, making himself dizzy again. "And you? I didn't even think to ask-"

"It's fine, it's fine," said Nastasia, seeing his eyes start to dance. She eased him back down. "You didn't have to ask. You can see for yourself. We're all fine. We weren't hurt at all."

"I'm glad," said Count Bleck. "I'm glad... that I have you. I don't know what I would do if I were on my own."

"Lucky for you," said Tippi, as she rested on his chest, "you'll never have to be alone again as long as I'm here."

Count Bleck smiled. Soon after that, he fell asleep.

* * *

Ghibli was floating nervously in the cavern, pacing back and forth in the air. It was completely alone. It hated being alone. It had never been alone before, not once in over a thousand years, and it didn't like it. It never wanted this again. Yet none of the other phantos had returned, and Toei had gone out and hadn't yet returned either.

What if Toei was hurt? Ghibli had never left this cavern before. It had no idea what was out there. Monsters? Demons? Ancient abominations so powerful they could destroy all who rose against them? What if Toei never came back? What would it do then? Would it spend the rest of its days down here, guarding the chest all alone? Would it venture out into the world for help? Would there even be anyone out there to help it?

Finally, Toei returned. The moment its glowing eyes appeared in the cavern, Ghibli rushed over to it and pressed itself into Toei. "Oh, you're back! You're back!"

"Of course I'm back," said Toei. "I said I'd be back in half an hour, and it's only been twenty-five minutes."

"I was afraid for you," said Ghibli.

"Don't be. There's no one on the surface interested in us."

"They're not coming back to the cavern? Don't they want the treasure?"

"Apparently not."

"What about our siblings?"

"No sign of them. It looks like they aren't planning on returning after all."

"What? But- but how can they just abandon us like that? It's not right!"

"It matters not. We're still here. And we still have Vanguard."

Ghibli turned around and looked at the back wall of the cavern. Set into it was the largest phanto of them all, Vanguard. It was the mask that sat in the background and watched the smaller ones as they protected the key. Vanguard did not speak, nor did it think. It simply was, and it did what was needed of it to protect the smaller ones. In a way, it was not its own being but was the collective consciousness of every phanto in the chamber. Which, right now, was just the two.

"Vanguard will protect us," said Toei. "Vanguard will keep us safe."

"Vanguard is our protector," murmured Ghibli, remembering the chants the toads had taught it more than a millennium ago. That chant had kept it going through some tough times. It wasn't easy to hang on a wall and watch an empty cavern for all time. Sometimes things got scary. Plus, there might come a day when someone managed to take the treasure out of the cavern. Then it would have to follow and get it back. The thought terrified Ghibli, but knowing Vanguard was near made it easier.

"There's a disturbance going on above ground," said Toei. "The guardian is fighting with some outsiders. The ones who tried to take the key."

"Oh, jeez," said Ghibli. "Are they winning?"

"No. They're losing."

"Oh, good. And what of the bones?"

"Nowhere to be seen. Either they are still buried or they're long gone."

Ghibli sighed in relief. "Whew. Okay. So. What do we do now?"

"For now, we wait," said Toei. "I will return to the surface in a few hours to see what became of the battle."

"And you'll come right back... right?"

"Of course." Toei gave Ghibli a sideways look. "I won't leave you alone for long. In fact... if we play our cards right, we'll never have to be alone again."


	13. The Bones

Klasky kept shining until the morning, when the sun returned. By that time, Glitter Sue was back to full power, even stronger than she had been at sunset the night before. To come back and challenge her again was certain doom, and Count Bleck and his friends stayed in Dimension D for the time being.

The lost village of Aardman was nearly complete at this time. At the very least, it now had enough uncovered to be fully functional. The well had struck water, right where Glitter Sue knew it would be. Now that the hard work was nearly complete, all that remained was to simply exist. Aardman, then, was exactly as it had been over a thousand years ago.

Everything might have stayed the same for a very long time, had they not uncovered the one thing Glitter Sue had hoped would stay buried in the past. That very day, Professor Frankly called her over as he continued chipping away at expanding the wall. "Glitter Sue! Come here! I believe I've found something!"

Glitter Sue rushed over, smiling with barely contained excitement. "What is it? Something cool?"

"Something I didn't expect to find. It looks like the fossilized skeleton of an ancient beast."

Glitter Sue's face fell when she saw it: three titanic bleached rib bones, sticking slightly out, buried in the wall.

"No," she whispered.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Leave it," said Glitter Sue. "That's not for you to discover."

"But it's a great asset," protested Professor Frankly. "There's so much it could teach us about what used to live here a thousand years ago!"

"There's nothing that beast could teach you," said Glitter Sue sternly. "It doesn't belong here and it never did. It needs to stay buried."

Professor Frankly frowned. "Well, if you insist, but..."

Glitter Sue thrust her wand forward, ever single speck of glitter on her body shimmering brightly. Professor Frankly was shoved back a few steps. "Let this be the end of it!" she shouted. "You can dig anywhere in this entire desert you please, but not there! Never there!"

"Of course!" said Professor Frankly, her hold on his mind now tightened. "Anything you request. I'm not interested in those dusty old bones, anyway."

She walked back to her lawn chair and flopped down in it on her stomach, her arms lolling over the side. Professor Sullivan Bluth approached her cautiously.

"What is it, Bluth?" Glitter Sue grumbled.

"We need to make more papyrus," said Sullivan Bluth. "I've filled all that you gave me with my notes on this civilization. The reeds I require are-"

Glitter Sue waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. You can go. Just come back." She rolled over on her back. "And don't bother me."

"Of course."

"I mean it. You come anywhere near me with that accursed notebook and pencil and I will kick you so hard you'll bang your head on the moon."

Professor Bluth scurried away.

Tippi, who had been watching the entire thing from her hiding place among some fossilized plant skeletons, quietly warped back to Dimension D.

Back in the dimension, Nastasia, Count Bleck, and Dimentio were eating fried shrooms for breakfast. Count Bleck was more or less recovered from his fight the night before, and looked much better at any rate. Tippi fluttered up to him and gave him a quick kiss on his face.

"Good morning to you, as well," said Count Bleck. "What did you discover?"

"They've uncovered something Glitter Sue doesn't want to be found," said Tippi. "I don't know why, but as soon as she saw it she got very upset. It looks like part of an enormous skeleton."

"Interesting," said Count Bleck.

"So what are we going to do about it?" asked Dimentio.

"Well, dig it up, obviously," replied Count Bleck. "At the very least, knowing why it upset her so much would be useful in figuring out how to stop her."

* * *

Late that night, the four of them returned to the dig site. The village was asleep. Aside from Klasky there were no artificial lights, so people didn't work late into the night as they did in the modern world. Klasky himself was sleeping high in the sky and quite a distance from the village, so that not too much of his light caused a disturbance down on the ground. He only needed to be there when Glitter Sue needed sunlight to recharge her wand. So Count Bleck had the cover of darkness in which to work.

Normally uncovering a massive skeleton like this was a long, arduous task. Archaeology itself takes time and patience, as impressively tiny and delicate tools are used to move impossibly large amounts of soil and other materials covering up deeply hidden treasures. This is to ensure that no precious artifacts are damaged, keeping them perfectly preserved for future generations to learn from. Unfortunately for the Count, they didn't have the kind of time everyone else had with the entire village, and they had to risk damaging the skeleton slightly to expose as much of it as possible by morning.

Tippi stood lookout as Dimentio stole some of the larger tools, and then he, Nastasia, and Count Bleck began to move as much dirt as possible to uncover as much of the skeleton as possible. It wasn't until right before first light that they finished, but even before that, they figured out what they were uncovering.

Finally, Count Bleck stood back and examined their treasure: it was the skeleton of a massive dragon, stretched out all along the wall. It was not unlike the dragon Bonetail, though this one was very clearly no longer capable of movement or thought (obviously, it was dead, but then again, so was Bonetail and that didn't stop _her_.) It had massive claws, dulled with fossilization, on each of its four feet, and a long, thin, whip-like tail.

"So this is what she didn't want to see," mused Dimentio.

"It's a dragon, all right," said Tippi. "But it's not one I recognize. I couldn't tell you anything about it."

"Why didn't she want us to see it?" Nastasia asked.

"I don't know," said Tippi.

"We're going to have to go back into hiding," said Count Bleck. "Timpani, can I count on you to stay here and tell us _everything_ that happens when she sees it?"

"Of course," replied Tippi. "You'd better go now. If she so much as catches a glimpse of you, she'll never let on why this thing has got her so upset."

Count Bleck nodded. Then he, Dimentio, and Nastasia disappeared. Tippi fluttered away and hid herself amid the dirt and rock.

She didn't have to hide too long before she heard an earsplitting scream. It didn't trail off; instead, it got louder and louder as Glitter Sue ran up to the wall. When she got to it, she continued screaming a string of indiscriminate curses as she banged the solid wall in which the bones were embedded with her fists. It was primal, and raw, and listening to it was hard for Tippi. It was clear she was phenomenally overwrought by the discovery. Her face was red, tears streaming down her blotchy cheeks. Still, as furious as she was, the reason for why she was throwing this tantrum remained a mystery.

Much farther back, where Tippi couldn't see, was Toei. He hovered against the dirt wall, blending in, unseen by all. Watching her tantrum, he smiled to himself. "The bones are revealed at last," he said. "Now it is _my_ time."

* * *

"Really," said Count Bleck, as Tippi filled him in on what she had seen. "She just screamed and lashed out, but didn't say a word as to why?"

"No," said Tippi. "She just completely snapped. Then Professor Bluth tried to ask her why she was upset and she kicked him so hard he went sailing."

"That wasn't nice," said Count Bleck.

"She's not too crazy about Frankly and Bluth," said Tippi. "I mean, I don't think she _hates_ them, but she doesn't seem particularly fond of them."

"I can imagine why."

"So, that gave us nothing," said Dimentio. "It caused her to fall apart like a jigsaw puzzle one attempts to lift in the air with no backing, but it doesn't tell us how to defeat her. In fact, I'd venture a guess that it made her even more dangerous to attempt a frontal assault on, as the more upset and unhinged she is, the more willing she is to lash out with lethal force."

"I wish I knew why the village was abandoned," said Count Bleck. "I almost heard her say it, back when we were fighting, but she deliberately stopped herself from telling me."

"Do you think knowing that would help?"

"I think it's possible."

"So what's your plan now?" asked Nastasia.

"Count Bleck doesn't have one. Unfortunately, we're going to have to continue to wait and observe."


	14. The Fusion

Glitter Sue was sitting on her lawn chair, hugging her feet and rocking back and forth. The entire village was in the process of re-burying the skeleton. They were taking the dirt, wetting it, and packing it against the wall. It was sort of an assembly line, with some scooping up the dirt, others bringing water, and others stacked on top of each other to reach the top of the skeleton. Glitter Sue refused to get anywhere near it.

Late in the day, they had barely managed to cover up any of it. Then, one stack of shy guys who were covering up the dragon's skeletal wings dropped a bucket of mud on the shy guy who was passing the buckets to them. That shy guy was Dique.

"Oh, ew!" he yelped as the bucket fell upside-down on top of him. "I'm covered in mud now!"

"Whoops," said the top shy guy. "Sorry, bud."

"It's okay, it happens." Dique pulled the bucket off his head and tossed it aside. His red body was caked in mud, and he was unable to wipe it off easily. He turned to Glitter Sue. "Hey, uh, Miss Boss? Can I go wash and change?"

Glitter Sue waved her hands. "Yeah. Yeah, go. It's fine. Bring your friend if she wants."

Nell, who was flying near the top of the dragon, smiled as she landed. "Cool. Break time."

Dique and Nell walked out of the pit. The showers were on the other side of Tent City, so they started the quick trek through the abandoned tents.

"I hate showering up here," said Nell, flying low to the ground beside her friend. "The water is so gross. It feels _thick_ , you know?"

"Yeah. And when you get some of it in your mouth?" Dique added.

"Ewww!" They both laughed.

"So, how do you like the village?" Nell asked.

"Oh, it's great. I love it. How's your house?"

"We just got the roof up last night. It's just me and two girls from my class."

"Oh, yeah, didn't you room with them back at the dorms?"

"Yeah, they're pretty cool. But I guess we're living here now forever, so that's nice."

"Yeah. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life here."

The showers were empty when they arrived. There were several clusters of showers, each made up of four stalls with two walls each, running as a + separating them. There were curtain rods running diagonal across each shower. Dique stepped into one stall and pulled the curtain shut before disrobing. He tossed his mask and red robe in a heap outside. There was a stack of crates nearby, and Nell sat down on one that was on its own next to it. "Are you gonna sing in the shower?" she asked.

"I don't do that. Do I?"

"Well, can you whistle?"

Dique began whistling. Nell smiled and began clapping to the beat. "Oh, yeah. That's groovy. I like that."

"Oh, drat."

"What?"

"I forgot to get a fresh robe to change into. Do you mind running to my tent while I finish? I think I left some there."

"No prob." Nell jumped off the crate and ran through Tent City until she found Dique's small, green tent. Inside were six red robes neatly folded next to his bedroll. She picked the one off the top and flew back to the shower, landing on the ground before she was close enough to see over the shower curtain. "Okay, I'm back."

"Good," said Dique. "I've just finished toweling off. Throw it over the rod, would you?"

Nell tossed the robe over.

"Okay, now hand me my mask."

Nell picked up the muddy robe, but Dique's mask wasn't there. "Uh, did you take it off with your robe?"

"Yeah. It should be right there."'

"Well, it's not."

"What? But I wrapped it in my robe when I tossed it. Even if it fell out it should still be right there."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you." Nell held the robe up. "I'm looking at your robe right now, and there's no mask."

"Ugh. Okay, turn around. I'm coming out."

Nell turned her back to Dique. "Oh, come on. Is it really a big deal if I see your face?"

"Yes, it is," said Dique tersely. "It's a shy guy thing. We've been over this."

"Sorry," said Nell. "You're right. After all, I wouldn't want to be seen without my shell."

"Thanks for understanding."

Just then, Nell spotted something in the sand a few feet away, half-buried. She hurried over to it and picked it up. It was Dique's mask. "How did you get all the way over here?" she murmured. Then she called, "Hey, Dique I-"

"Never mind!" Dique called over her. "I found it!"

"Found what?"

"Uh, my mask, duh?"'

"But I just found your mask," said Nell, turning around. Dique was back at the showers, facing away from Nell.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I'm wearing it right- urk!"

Six black tentacles exploded out of the side of Dique's face, then turned back around and forced their way into his hood. Dique fell forward onto his hands, panting loudly.

"Uh... Dique?" Nell took a few tentative steps forward. "Dique?... are you okay? What was that? Is that a shy guy thing?"

When she got to Dique, he hadn't gotten up. She knelt down and leaned close to him. Dique's left hand shot up and grabbed Nell by the little ring around her neck, then pulled her even closer. "You listen to me," he said in a low, gravelly voice. "I am not Dique any longer. My name is Pixar, and the part of my life that involved you must now end."

"Dique, you're scaring me."

Dique let go and stood up. He slowly turned around, and Nell screamed. Covering his face, instead of a Shy Guy mask was a grinning phanto.

* * *

Ghibli was floating back and forth in the chamber. Toei had been gone for so much longer this time. Hours and hours. Maybe years. It was probably dead. Someone had hit it with a super star after using a stop watch. Its game was over. Now it was just Ghibli left alone to guard the key. If someone as strong as Toei could fail, what hope would _it_ have?

Suddenly, the chamber door opened. Ghibli twirled around excitedly. "Oh, you're back! You really came ba- huh?"

It was not Toei who was entering the room. It was a red shy guy wearing Toei as a mask. The shy guy stalked over, his hands twitching. He did not acknowledge Ghibli at all.

Ghibli floated in front of the shy guy with the phanto mask. "Hello," he said, "I don't believe I've been introduced to you."

"My name is Pixar!" The shy guy/phanto shoved Ghibli out of his way. "Get away from me!"

Ghibli frowned. "Fusing with a shy guy? That doesn't seem like a good idea... how is this going to protect the key?"

"It won't." Pixar picked up the key. Vanguard's eyes began to glow.

"Hey, you're not supposed to do that."

"Wake up, Ghibli. The village is gone. The guardian is gone. Everything's been gone for hundreds of years. The old order no longer matters. I'm not going to be here guarding this key for somebody who's game's long over. There comes a time in everyone's life when they can either sit back and let the world happen around them, or they can stand up and say, now it's _my_ turn!"

Pixar stuffed the key into the keyhole and turned the lock.

"Wait, you can't do that!" Ghibli shrieked.

Pixar opened the stone chest. Inside, pulsating slowly, was a heart muscle carved out of crazy lace agate. Carefully, Pixar lifted it up. "Heh heh heh..."

"I mean it!" Ghibli tried to sound firm, but it was far too scared to hold its voice steady. "That thing can destroy entire civilizations. Nobody who tries to control it has ever come to a good end!'

"But who knows more about it than someone who's been guarding it for a thousand years?" Pixar said with a haughty laugh.

"Look, just put it back, unfuse yourself, and we'll forget this whole thing."

"No way, Ghibli. I'm tired of being a phanto and a shy guy. Toei was pathetic. Dique was a nobody. But Pixar will be an emperor."


	15. The Guardian's Past

The trap door burst open and Pixar climbed out, holding the Crazy Lace Heart high above his head. He marched into the village, causing everyone he passed to stop and turn to look at him. Nobody knew what he was doing. Nobody could have foreseen what would happen when he approached the still-exposed skeleton and pressed the heart into the space between its rib cage.

Nobody, that is, except for Glitter Sue. But Glitter Sue wasn't at the dig site. She was over at the showers, talking to Nell. Nell was explaining what had just happened not too long ago.

"So I turned around to show him that I _did_ find his mask, and he had to be mistaken. And he was. It wasn't his mask at all- it was a phanto!"

Glitter Sue sucked her teeth. "I was afraid of that. Ever since that idiot professor set them all free, I've been wondering what the best way to round them up was without having to travel everywhere in the world. That's the problem with phanto guards; they're great at staying put for a long time, but eventually, they're gonna want to leave, and if they get the chance, well, they do."

"What can we do?"

"Well, separating a phanto from its host is a delicate procedure. Usually, the only way to do it is if both parties independently want to be split up. Phantos usually don't take hosts by force because of the consequences, it has to be symbiotic."

"What kind of consequences?"

"Well-" but Glitter Sue didn't get a chance to explain to Nell what they were because at that exact moment the ground on the other side of Tent City exploded. Glitter Sue swore loudly, threw her arms around Nell, and dove to the ground. She looked up at the sky and saw a massive pair of skeletal wings with leathery skin stretched between them flapping hard, slowly lifting the dragon skeleton into the air.

"What is that?" Nell shouted from her new position inside her shell.

"Laika!" Glitter Sue shouted, jumping up. "By what sorcery have you returned?" Then she saw, suspended in his rib cage and attached to the spine with sinew, the Crazy Lace Heart. It was glowing slightly and pulsing. "Oh, _no..._ "

Laika, the dragon, laughed dramatically. "Glitter Sue! Show yourself! Our battle is not finished!"

Glitter Sue used a pillar of sand to lift herself into the air. Laika spotted her right away. "Laika! You're looking a bit bonier than usual. Have you not eaten enough innocents? Put some meat on them bones, why don't ya?"

"Glitter Sue." Laika flew over to her and landed in front of her, crushing several tents as he did. With her on the pillar of sand, they were now seeing eye to eye. "You're looking so much less gray these days. Been out in the sunshine, have you?"

"Enough of this. I defeated you before and I'll do it again. Surrender now and I'll do it with as little pain as I can manage."

Laika laughed. "Oh, I don't think so. You see, before I never actually had the heart. And this time I've got something even better in addition."

Laika turned on his side. Now Glitter Sue could see behind him was Vanguard, the giant phanto from the cave. And she could also see Pixar standing on his spine.

"You! What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Oh, didn't you know? My new friend Pixar here made it all possible."

"That's impossible! Phantos _guard_ the treasure; they don't use it!"

"My dear," said Pixar, "I am no longer a phanto. I've become something entirely new."

"This is unreal!"

Vanguard's eyes glowed bright red. Laika turned around until he was facing it. Then Vanguard pressed itself against Laika's face. Six black tentacles erupted from the back of the mask and then went into Laika's skull.

"Ah ha ha ha... With all the power of the Crazy Lace Heart _and_ the power of the phantos, I will be unstoppable! I won't just rule the desert... I will rain destruction down on this dimension and on any dimension that dares oppose me!"

"You!" Pixar shouted to the dragon. "You are no longer Laika and Vanguard! What is your name?"

"My name is Marza!"

Glitter Sue brought a fist of sand up and threw a punch at Marza. "Yeah? Vanguard, Laika, Marza, whatever your names are I'll still pound you."

"My thoughts exactly! But instead, from me, to you." With the power of phantos on his side, Marza was able to warp away from the fist. Glitter Sue looked around rapidly to see where he had re-appeared, but spotted him a second too late: he had appeared behind her and whipped her off her pedestal with his tail. She went sailing through the air but managed to turn herself around and land on her feet, skidding backward in the sand with one hand on the ground for balance.

Just then, Count Bleck appeared out of thin air behind her. He held his glove out. "Come with Count Bleck if you want to live."

Without even thinking about it, Glitter Sue grabbed his hand. He warped her to Dimension D just before the dragon crushed her.

* * *

Count Bleck appeared in Dimension D, holding Glitter Sue's hand. He let go immediately and she dropped down to her hands and feet, panting.

"Were you hurt?" asked Count Bleck.

"No, no, I'm fine," she replied, waving her hand dismissively. "Not for nothing, but why did you save me? And how did you know to?"

"Timpani's been watching you, and she said you were in trouble. That's why I came; because you were in trouble," said Count Bleck. "And because I still think you can be reasoned with."

Glitter Sue sighed. Then she pushed back into a sitting position. "Well... thank you." She closed her eyes and leaned back.

Nearby, Dimentio and Nastasia were watching. Tippi fluttered over and rested on Count Bleck's hat.

"Well," said Dimentio, "do you want to tell us what that was all about?"

"Not really," said Glitter Sue.

"Yeah, so, that's not gonna work." Nastasia adjusted her glasses. "This is non-negotiable. If you want to take asylum in Dimension D, then you need to tell me why you went completely crazypants."

"Crazypants?" Dimentio repeated.

"Well, it's not like I can unsay it," said Nastasia.

Glitter Sue sighed. "Okay... okay, I'll tell you." She sat down on the ground with her feet sticking out. Then she looked up at the others and patted the ground next to her. Count Bleck knelt down in front of her. Nastasia glanced around, then sat down herself. Dimentio, always one to be difficult, remained hovering.

Glitter Sue took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and recounted her story: "Over a thousand years ago, my people tried to harness the power of other ancient artifacts, known as the Crystal Stars and the Purity Heart. Unfortunately, the experiment proved to be a mistake. The artifact was powerful but unpredictable and uncontrollable. Unable to destroy it, they buried it deep underground and set a thousand guards in the chamber to protect it. Above ground, they took their one good creation, this wand, and gave it to the most worthy of all. That turned out to be me. Using the power of this wand, I protected the village from all who came to steal the heart for their own nefarious ends.

"One day, the wicked dragon Laika came from the other side of the world to steal it. Laika was the most powerful enemy I ever encountered. I fought hard, but he-" her voice caught. She opened her mouth to continue, but no words came.

Count Bleck moved next to her and rubbed her back slowly. "It's all right," he said gently, "continue when you're ready."

Glitter Sue wiped her eye. "He slaughtered them. Everyone in the village. The whole civilization. Men. Women. _Children_. They were gone in an instant. I fought, but I couldn't save anyone. When I finally managed to deliver the killing blow, with his dying breath he struck back with a curse of his own, turning me to stone. The force of it knocked me into my home, so far away from the windows that no light ever touched me, and I was trapped there.

"Days passed. Weeks. Months. Years. _Centuries_. No one came. Eventually, I was buried. When you finally released me, and I had my wand back, I thought... I knew I couldn't bring them back, but I thought I could at least bring my old way of life back, and that would be enough... I know it was crazy..." Tears were running down her cheeks like rivers, but she did not sob. It wasn't that kind of pain.

Something she said struck Count Bleck. "You... you weren't hibernating, as a statue, were you?"

"No." Glitter Sue spat the word out with all the bitterness inside her. "I didn't even so much as _nap_ in that entire time. I watched the ages pass and hoped with all my heart that I would be freed. For a while. Eventually, I stopped hoping. I stopped dreaming. I even forgot how. All I could do was curse my own existence. Which I did. I did a _lot_ of cursing."

"Did you really try to strangle Dique?" Count Bleck asked gently.

"What?"

"When you were first brought to the trailer and the shy guy and parakoopa, Dique and Nell, were watching you. Dique says he turned his back on you and felt your hand around his throat."

"When I was a statue? No," said Glitter Sue. "I was able to move, however slightly, for the first time in a millennium. I was just trying to squeeze him to get him to notice there was someone in here. You can't understand how maddening it is to be surrounded by people treating you like an object as you desperately try to scream, to move, to do _something_ to make them realize you're alive."

Glitter Sue wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. I know you can never forgive me, but I truly am sorry."

Count Bleck smiled at her kindly. He turned around to look at Dimentio and Nastasia. "Well, we'd be a room full of hypocrites if we didn't forgive you."

"That's true," said Dimentio.

Nastasia nodded.

"Except for me," said Tippi.

"Yes, except for my wife."

"But I still do."

"Dimentio," said Count Bleck. "Your feeling of unease... has it been fulfilled or is there still some dread you're experiencing?"

Dimentio shook his head. "It has disappeared like jellybeans left in a bowl on a secretary's desk."

"So you're comfortable being a part of this?"

"Yes. These are the bad tidings I was worried about; now that they are here, I can fight them."

"Thank you."

Glitter Sue was still trying to get the tears off her face, but they continued to pour as if from faucets. Count Bleck, always the gentleman, retrieved a handkerchief from his waistcoat and gave it to Glitter Sue. She wiped her face and blew her nose, then handed it back. "Keep it," said Count Bleck, and she did.


	16. Of Fusions and Phantos

"They're all free, by the way," said Glitter Sue. "Everyone who was under my control. I just let them go. Unfortunately, I can't release anyone from being possessed by a phanto."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that," said Nastasia. "I've never seen anything like this before. I didn't know phantos could possess people; how is that accomplished?"

Glitter Sue shook her head. "I'm not the person to ask. I don't know anything about that."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" said a voice apart from the crowd.

Count Bleck turned around quickly, followed immediately by the others. Nastasia put her hands on her glasses and Dimentio conjured a dazzle ball.

It was Ghibli, the phanto. "Hi," it said. "I'm, uh, I'm the last phanto left."

"How did you get here?" asked Count Bleck.

"Phantos have dimensional warping capabilities," said Tippi. "See? Now I have the information."

Glitter Sue stood up. "Why did the others leave?"

"I don't know," said Ghibli.

"Ah. Then, why did you stay?"

"Honestly? Because I was scared to go."

Count Bleck bowed. "Well, then. Greetings. I am Count Bleck. I know nothing of your species. Perhaps you can enlighten me on what exactly is going on."

"Oh, you don't know? Well, that's the one thing I _do_ know. See, phantos are guardians. We've been keeping people from getting to the Crazy Lace Heart for a thousand years. No one's ever actually made it as far as the chamber before, until you. This is, um, actually my first trip out of the cavern in my life and I'm kinda freaking out about it."

"Oh, you poor thing," said Tippi. "Do you need anything?"

Ghibli gulped. "Uh, no, I'll be fine. Just, uh, just bear with me." It took a steadying breath. "Okay. So, here's how it works. Phantos are masks, right? Except not really. We're alive and stuff. But if you put us on, things get interesting. Every phanto has the ability to merge its consciousness with a host. The two of them then form a completely new being made up of both their traits and phanto is able to amplify its host's powers while adding its own, meaning the new person is stronger than the sum of its parts. This can usually only be done with a ready and willing participant who trusts the phanto completely. Because if you force it like Toei did..."

"Well?"

"Well, when you combine someone with a strong goal with somebody who didn't want to fuse, you get someone who desperately wants to achieve his goal but hates his own existence. He can't forcibly unfuse. There are no 'two sides' fighting for dominance. He is one being now, and that being does not want to exist. He will do anything and everything to achieve his goal, which is to aid the dragon in his conquest, but he hates himself so much he doesn't care if it kills him in the process. If you're not willing to sacrifice Dique..."

"Out of the question," said Count Bleck.

"Then you're going to have to go about this very carefully."

"And what of the dragon? Marza, I believe? Who is the phanto who possesses Marza?"

"That's Vanguard. Vanguard isn't like me or Toei- he's the one on Dique- Vanguard isn't really anybody. All of us little masks can control the big mask if we need a boost. It's supposed to protect us and be our trump card in battle. Pixar was controlling Vanguard, and now that it's on Laika, they're both controlling it. I have a say in what it does, but I'm not nearly as strong as two fusions, especially on my own."

Count Bleck tapped his chin with his cane. "You said that when fusing is done with mutual trust and respect, it will amplify the powers of both involved?"

"Yeah. Why? What are you thinking?"

"Many things."

Dimentio cleared his throat. "I'm thinking many things as well; excuse me a moment." He disappeared.

Just then, Mimi and O'Chunks teleported into Dimension D. Nelvana Trooper was with them, holding Mimi's hand. Mimi had changed out of the ornate ancient dress and was holding it instead. Now she was back in her summer wardrobe. This time she was wearing a blue sarong with white leaves patterned on it.

"Whoa," said Nell, looking around wildly, "you weren't kidding! This is trippy."

"We've found yeh!" O'Chunks looked pleased. "Oh, yeh can't know how worried I was. Didn't know what was goin' on, with the dragon everywhere! I wanted t' chunk 'im, but first I had to find yeh."

Count Bleck spread his hands. "Here I am. I'm glad you've come, though you've missed quite a bit."

Nastasia straightened her glasses. "I'll fill you in in a moment."

"Count!" Mimi bounced excitedly when she saw him. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you! And Nastasia!" She turned to Nastasia. "I'm so, so, _so_ sorry! Nassie! I didn't mean to fight you-"

Nastasia held up her hand. "I understand. It was Glitter Sue's influence that made you want to do things you wouldn't normally do."

"And YOU!" Mimi turned to Glitter Sue and stalked over to her. At that moment, Nastasia pulled O'Chunks aside to brief him, so neither of them would get sucked into this. Ghibli also shrank back, as did Nell, as neither of them understood the dynamics of the group. Tippi glanced down at Count Bleck, who glanced back up at her, and they remained near.

"I can't _believe_ you!" Mimi continued shouting. "You just up and brainwashed an entire village, made me betray my count, and made me wear this UGLY thing!" Mimi held up the colorful dress she had been wearing and threw it at Glitter Sue's feet.

Glitter Sue's eyes began to water again. "You didn't think it was so ugly before," she said quietly.

"Oh, don't give me those longodile tears!"

Count Bleck put her hand on Mimi's shoulder. "Mimi, it's understandable that you're angry, but I don't think now's the proper time."

"No, it's fine," said Glitter Sue. "There's no excuse. There's a reason, but not an excuse. If she's angry, she should go ahead and get it off her chest. She'll feel better."

"Don't be so casual," said Mimi. "What reason could you possibly have had other than you're a big fat liarface meanypants?"

Count Bleck leaned over and whispered into Mimi's ear. Her eyes went wide. "Oh. Oh, wow. That... that's messed up." She narrowed her eyes. "But that doesn't make it okay."

"You're right. It doesn't. I betrayed your friendship." Glitter Sue took the crazy lace pendant Mimi had given her and removed it. "Here. You can have this back if you want it."

Mimi eyed it, then pushed it back to Glitter Sue. "You keep it." Mimi turned away and walked off on her own. Dimension D was small, and hard to get privacy in, but not impossible if everyone else was willing to help. Glitter Sue hesitated, then took a few steps up behind Mimi.

After a few moments silence, Mimi said, "Count Bleck said you were trying to bring your old life back?"

Glitter Sue nodded. But since Mimi didn't actually turn to face her, she then said, "Yes."

"You know, you can't make things stay the same forever. No matter what you do, things change. It doesn't take a thousand years for that to happen."

"What do you know about it?" It wasn't a demand; Glitter Sue asked the question with delicate curiosity.

Mimi shrugged. Glitter Sue carefully stepped up beside her. Mimi looked away, and Glitter Sue shrank back a bit. "I never had anything I would feel bad about losing until I met Count Bleck. But even at the castle, things don't stay the same. First we were evil. Then we were good. Then Mr. L lived with us. Then he didn't. Then he did again. Now he doesn't. You try to keep things the same, but they don't. You've just got to deal with it."

"I get the feeling that's actually _not_ easy for you to say."

Mimi twirled her ponytail a little. Then she began to sing:

 _Let's go in the garden  
_ _You'll find something waiting  
_ _Right there where you left it  
_ _Lying upside-down_

 _When you finally find it  
_ _You'll see how it's faded  
_ _The underside is lighter  
_ _When you turn it around_

 _Everything stays  
_ _Right where you left it  
_ _Everything stays  
_ _But it still changes_

 _Ever so slightly  
_ _Daily and nightly  
_ _In little ways  
_ _When everything stays_

Glitter Sue looked at Mimi. Then she rolled her right shoulder a few times and, with an audible pop, dislocated it so her arm was hanging limply. Mimi covered her mouth so no one would see her smile. Glitter Sue wiggled it a few times before popping it back into place.

"It's gonna take a while for me to trust you again," said Mimi. "But if you double-super-duper _promise_ not to remove my free will again... then I won't write off our friendship completely."

"Thank you," said Glitter Sue. "I'll do everything in my power to earn your trust again. I really do value our friendship, Mimi."


	17. Trust and Forgiveness

_Sorry this one is so late. All I needed to do was clean it and post it, but... well, let's just say there might be big news for me in the future._

* * *

During Mimi and Glitter Sue's reconciliation, Count Bleck, Nastasia, and Tippi were gathered in a circle to discuss battle plans. Count Bleck and Nastasia were kneeling, heads together, for a more private discussion, while Tippi rested on the brim of her husband's hat. As they conferred, Dimentio returned. Count Bleck immediately stood up.

"Dimentio!" he called, waving one hand. "Where did you go?"

"I returned to the dig site," replied Dimentio as he floated over to join them.

"What news can you bring?"

"The archaeologists have evacuated; I saw Professor Frankly briefly just before he closed the trapdoor. He assured me that everyone made it there safely while the dragon was distracted with Sue. Unfortunately, Marza has destroyed the village."

Glitter Sue spun around, looking stricken. Nearby, Ghibli, who had been hanging in the air quietly, slowly drifted towards the conversation.

"Sorry. I probably could have broken that more gently."

"Nah," said Glitter Sue, her voice choked. "Best to do it quickly instead of drag it out."

"His skin is starting to grow back," said Dimentio. "You already saw the patagium between his wing bones, allowing him to regain his ability to fly. Well, that trend is continuing all down his body. It looks disgusting, by the way. He's not gaining muscle mass or anything. It's just skin stretched over bones."

"I don't like that," said Glitter Sue. "That means the Crazy Lace Heart is giving him power. The more skin he has, the more connected with it he is, therefore the stronger he is becoming."

"That checks out," said Ghibli.

"Dimentio," said Count Bleck, "Did you learn anything about the way he attacks that we could use?"

"In a sense. I saw how well he moves, his agility and strength, though nothing of strategy."

"If it's strategy you want, it's me you need," said Glitter Sue. "I defeated him once. I've replayed that battle over and over in my head a billion times. I know how to fight him. Take me back to the village and I'll show you how to win."

Count Bleck froze.

"What?" Glitter Sue.

"Well," said Count Bleck. "It's just that I wasn't exactly planning on bringing you back to the dig site right away."

"What do you mean? Why not?" She looked at Dimentio, Nastasia, and Count Bleck, confused. "You don't trust me?"

Their faces gave her the answer. She sagged. "You don't trust me. You said you forgave me."

"Trust and forgiveness are different things," said Count Bleck gently, putting a glove on her shoulder. "And it means different things for different people. Some people can't forgive someone until they've earned their trust back. For me, personally, forgiveness is something I give someone so that they can earn that trust back. You apologized, and that was enough for me to forgive you... but I'm not exactly comfortable putting you right back in the village. I don't know what you'll do. I don't know what you're capable of."

Glitter Sue pulled back looking at the floor. It was clear the weight of all of this was pressing down on her like a giant thumb.

"It's not easy," said Dimentio, "and some relationships will never be the same again. That's not vindictive, that's just how it is. You have to learn to live with it."

"You don't know what I'm capable of, huh?" said Glitter Sue. She looked up, holding the wand back. "Well then, take _this_."

It sounded like an attack, and Count Bleck immediately took a defensive stance. But what Glitter Sue actually did was gently toss her wand at him. It bounced off his chest and landed on the ground in a pool of its own glitter.

"Sorry. I probably should have done that better. But, uh, take it." She nudged it closer to Count Bleck with her toe. "It won't hurt you."

Count Bleck watched Glitter Sue for a moment, and then knelt down and picked up the wand. As soon as he touched it, it was like a circuit had closed. He felt electricity running through his body, coursing through his very being. It was a powerful feeling.

"With that wand, all you have to do is think about what you want to happen, and you move the wand how you want it to go, and it does. You want to make a pillar, so you picture in your heart how the pillar will move, and you _whoosh,_ swing it up, like this," and Glitter Sue pantomimed the gesture, "and it happens. It's hard to tell how far to swing it at first. Sorry you won't have time to practice."

"I don't understand," said Count Bleck. "What are you doing?"

"That's the source of my power," said Glitter Sue. "Without it, I'm just an ordinary Toad. It's already imprinted your language on my brain, so I don't need it anymore. If you're really afraid I'm going to do something bad, then take the wand and use it yourself."

"Are there any negative side effects to wielding this I should be aware of?"

"No. It's only drawbacks are its limitations."

Count Bleck nodded slowly. "I see." He looked over the wand, watching the glitter fall from it. "If this works out the way you say it will..."

"It will."

"Then this is actually a pretty good step to re-establishing trust."

"Thanks," said Glitter Sue. "Just remember, without it, I can't fight. I can only tell you how to fight. So, uh... please don't let me get eaten by the dragon."

"That shouldn't be a problem."

Elsewhere in the dimension, Mimi was sitting down. She was fingering a piece of crazy lace, one she had tumbled but not set into jewelry yet, and thinking. She was still mad at Glitter Sue, but it wasn't the kind of anger it had been before. Still, it would take a while to get over it and that process simply can't be rushed.

As she sat, Nell walked up and plopped down next to her. "You're the one that makes jewelry, right?"

"Yeah," said Mimi.

"That's cool. I really like those stud earrings you made me. I was wondering if you had anything to match?"

Mimi looked up. "Yeah! One second!" She disappeared, and re-appeared a moment later with a large briefcase.

Nell's eyes widened. "Where'd you go just now?"

"I was keeping this in a safe dimension. Not, like, a dimension that's just safe. A dimension that _is_ a safe. You know, like in a bank?"

"Okay, that's... weird."

"Kinda, yeah." Mimi opened it and inside was an array of jewelry, elegantly displayed and set into foam, with price stickers stuck underneath. "This is what I have in stock right now."

Nell whistled. "Steep prices. You know I'm a broke grad student, right?"

"Yeah. That's why the first hit is always free. But now you know how much you want it, and then Mimi gets her rubees." Mimi chuckled, "Mimimimimi."

"The prices are in coins, though."

"Yeah, but there's, like, a dimension I found that has really good exchange rates between rubees and coins, so I totally take them now."

"How many dimensions are there, exactly?"

"I dunno. A billion?" She turned around. "Hey, Dimentio! How many- oh, he's busy. Oh, well, I'll ask him later." She turned back.

Nell patted her shell. "Well, I left my wallet back in the destroyed village. Come find me when this is all over and I'm going to buy that anklet."

Mimi reached under the foam, pulled out a pen, and marked SOLD on the anklet in question.


	18. Fleischer in the Flesh

_Sorry for the delay agian. This time I got locked out of my account, but it turns out the problem was on my computer. Fortunately I fixed it so that won't happen again._

* * *

Ghibli didn't seem to fit in anywhere here. The others had gone off into groups to discuss the current situation, and none of them had invited him. None of them seemed to need him, really, and he was far too self-conscious to invite himself into their group to add any insight he might have. Really, though, he didn't know much about the Crazy Lace Heart. All he knew was that he was created to protect it and keep exactly what had just happened from happening.

He was sort of slowly floating back in forth, pacing in midair, when Nell caught sight of him. She had just finished business with Mimi and, seeing him so out of place, decided to join him.

"Hi," said Nell in a chipper voice. "My name's Nelvana Trooper. What's yours?"

"Ghibli."

"You look uncomfortable. Are these guys your friends?"

"I don't have any friends," replied Ghibli. "They're strangers to me."

"Yeah, I don't really know these guys either," said Nell. "But I know that top hat guy has been working to protect us for a while now, so I came here to help him in any way I can. I want my friend back."

"The shy guy?"

"Yeah. Dique."

"I'm sorry. That's my sibling who's possessing him."

"Masks have siblings?"

"I have 999 siblings, actually. We all live together in an underground cavern. Except 998 of them ran away, so now it's just me and Toei. Except Toei turned into Pixar, so actually now it's just me."

"So you live in that cavern with all those masks we accidentally set free?"

"Yeah. This is my first time out, and my first time alone... this is a lot of firsts for me."

"Well, it doesn't have to be your first time alone," said Nell. She reached out and gently pet the cheek of the mask. "I'll stick with you."

Ghibli smiled. "So... am I to understand there are siblings in the above ground as well?"

"Oh, yeah. Lots of them. I mean, I don't have any myself but-"

Ghibli looked shocked. "No siblings? None at all? But that must be so lonely!"

Nell shrugged. "Eh. Only sometimes. And I'm used to it. Anyway, that's why my friends are so important to me. Without any brothers or sisters, I always had to play with-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Brothers and sisters? What are those?"

Nell looked confused. "Uh? Siblings? What we were talking about?"

"Yeah, siblings. What are brothers and sisters?"

"Well, uh... brothers are the boy siblings and sisters are the girl siblings."

"Oh! Gender!" Ghibli perked up. "I've heard of that!"

"You've... uh, heard of that?"

Ghibli nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. Like, you're a girl... right?"

"Uh, right." She tilted her head. "So... phantos don't have gender?"

"Nope," said Ghibli. "We're just masks. We're things. Objects, you know?"

"That's wild."

"I think _your_ way is wild."

Nell laughed. "You know what? You're not going to have any trouble making friends up here."

"Why's that?"

"Because you're so open, and honest, and enthusiastic. People usually like that."

"Really? And then people will by my friends? So I won't be alone even if I can't find my siblings again?"

"I can't imagine they won't."

Ghibli beamed.

"And you're not an object," Nell continued. "You're a real guy. You've got feelings. You're a sentient being. Well, as far as I can see. You're not a 'he' or a 'she', but you shouldn't be an 'it.'"

"Why not?"

"It's... well, I can't believe we don't have a better word for it in this universe, but it's _dehumanizing._ "

"But I'm not a human."

"Yeah, neither am I, that's why I'm not crazy about that word, but you get what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"You're not less than anyone else just because you're a mask. You're not a thing to be used and discarded. You're an individual to be valued."

Ghibli sort of shook back and forth, in a clear _no_ gesture. "You're losing me. You're, like... ascribing all this stuff to me that I don't get. Like, sentence and dehamisation?"

"Sentience and dehumanization."

"I appreciate what you're going for, but... I'm just a guardian. That's it. I hang on the wall. I guard a thing. That's my life. I _am_ a thing."

"Well, I think you shouldn't have to be if you don't want to be."

Ghibli paused. "But... what if I want to be?"

"I guess I can't change that, but I wonder if you want to be solely because it's all you've ever known."

"Um... masks don't really philosophize," said Ghibli. "This is all lost on me."

"Sorry to pressure you," said Nell. "I just... I guess I kinda saw something in you that maybe you didn't see yourself. If I'm making you uncomfortable I'll stop."

"Oh, dear," said Ghibli. "I hope I didn't offend you."

Nell looked surprised. "No, of course not! I thought I had offended _you_."

"Nope. I'm happy you were doing something you thought might help me... even if I don't really get it."

Nell sat down next to him, and they were quiet for a while. It wasn't a tense, awkward quiet, though, like it might have been. To Ghibli, it felt like the quiet of the cave between him and his siblings; though there was nothing to say, it was comforting to be so near others he trusted, and now he felt that sort of trust with this new companion.

However, the rest of the dimension wasn't quiet. Bleck, Nastasia, and Tippi were all discussing the issue at hand in great depth. O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio were on the outskirts of the conversation- speaking up when they were needed, but not ready to be bulk contributors. Glitter Sue had removed herself completely, and was sitting on her own in a puddle of glitter.

"We're outmuscled and outclassed," Count Bleck was saying, "and that can't be helped. Even with all the power of the desert on my side, it's still no good if I don't know how to use it." He gave the wand a little shake. "And with no practice, I'm afraid having it will do me no good. I might be better giving it back to Glitter Sue, but- well, there's no need to have this conversation again."

"Erm... excuse me," Ghibli spoke up in a voice that was breathy and timid, but still loud enough to be heard. That fact surprised even him.

Count Bleck turned to look. "Hm? Yes, Ghibli? You have something to say?"

"Yeah, well, it's just... um, see... about that wand. The thing is... me and all my siblings... we're artifacts of Aardman ourselves, you know, and... uh... well, they kind of taught us about all the other artifacts so we would know what was up, you know? Like... not just the Crazy Lace Heart, but... um, well the wand, too."

Count Bleck tilted his head slightly. "Interesting. Are you saying...?"

"Uh... well, that I know exactly how that wand works." Those words came out in a rush, and Ghibli felt better having spat them out finally.

"Thank you," said Count Bleck, "but unfortunately I don't see how you knowing will be a great help to me in the heat of battle-" but he stopped short and his eyes widened as he realized exactly what Ghibli was implying. "Ohhhhh."

Mimi elbowed O'Chunks, who looked down at her with his eyes bugged out. Mimi mouthed, _I know, right?_

"It's really not that bad," said Ghibli, now speaking almost a little too quickly. "I mean, I've never done it, but- but it's not supposed to be like Pixar is. I mean, if you're a good guy, and I'm a good guy, we'd still be a really good guy... just one that's stronger than both of us put together. Or, I guess he'd be _exactly_ as strong as both of us put together, I mean, but stronger than we would be _next to_ each other- ugh, I'm rambling."

"Your offer intrigues Count Bleck," said Count Bleck. "Tell me, have we any risk of becoming, as it were, 'stuck' like Pixar is?"

"No way," said Ghibli. "I don't want to stay fused forever, so as long as you don't either, we can stop anytime we want."

"Good to know." Count Bleck turned to the others. "Let's hear some opinions."

"I think it's a terrible idea," said Nastasia. "We don't know anything about him and that's a lot of faith to put in an unknown. We've already been tricked once."

"I disagree," said Dimentio. "We know as much as we need to know. It's not as if he's lying about the basic concept of phantos; though it's not well known, it has been documented in the past. The Dark Prognosticus itself has made mention of the concept... mostly in relaying the future of ill-fated fusions who sought to gain its power."

"I agree with Dimentio," said Tippi, "...as uncomfortable as that makes me feel. As a pixl, I don't see anything in him that isn't out in the open."

Glitter Sue raised her hand. "He has a vote of confidence from me, if that's worth anything at this point."

Count Bleck nodded at his minions. "Nastasia, I appreciate where you're coming from, but I think I'm going to have to take this risk."

"I understand," said Nastasia. "Good luck."

Nell, who was watching quietly, spoke up: "So you're really doing this?"

"Who, me?" Ghibli turned around.

Nell shrugged. "Well, then good luck to you, too. I guess this is one way to make sure you aren't alone." She flashed him a warm smile. Ghibli felt himself blush as he smiled back.

Count Bleck turned to Ghibli. "Tell me what to do."

"Uh, then... you j- uh, you just put me on... I think?"

Count Bleck took Ghibli in his hands and turned him around. "Like a regular mask?"

"I guess?"

Count Bleck pressed his face into the mask and removed his hands. "Is that it?"

"That's all you have to do."

"I don't feel any different."

"Hang on a minute... okay, now you're going to feel a slight drilling sensation as my tentacles bore into your skull."

"Your what in Count Bleck's what?"

The six black tentacles shot out of Ghibli's back and immediately went for Count Bleck's shadowy head. Count Bleck cried out and dropped to his hands and knees. That caught the attention of everybody in the dimension.

"Count!" Nastasia rushed to his side.

"Blumiere!"

Nell took several more steps away.

Shaking, Count Bleck stood up. Mimi, O'Chunks, Nastasia, and Glitter Sue all stood in a half circle around him. Tippi fluttered close to her husband's face. "Blumiere, are you all right?"

Count Bleck shook his head slowly.

"You're not all right? Tell me what's wrong. Does anything hurt?"

"No, no, you misunderstand... it's not that I'm not all right, it's that I'm not exactly Blumiere right now."

"Count Bleck?"

"No, not him either... that's... it _feels_ like my name... but not, at the same time. I guess that would be the part of me that's Ghibli? How does this work... It's a bit confusing. I remember living in Castle Bleck, but this is my first time out of my cave. The memories are mixed up... and it feels like those names are names for parts of me, like 'arms,' or 'legs."

"I see..." Tippi sounded like she didn't see at all.

"My name is Fleischer," the new being decided. "That's a good name. Yes, I like it! Fleischer likes it very much. Bleh heh heh... huh? I didn't understand before. I'd been told, but I never understood until now. It's like they've disappeared. I never existed until now. Fleischer needs some time to get used to existing."

Glitter Sue thumped Fleischer on the back. "Way to go, guys! You know, I bet that if you two fought me like this, you'd beat me easy this time."

"Wait," said Mimi. "I'm confused."

"Tell me about it," added O'Chunks.

"So Toei is Pixar and the Count is Fleischer. Dique is Ghibli and Laika is Vanguard… why all the names?"

"Okay," said Fleischer, "first off… all… only half of those were right."

Mimi began feeling around her hips and waist. "I need a notebook to keep track of this. Oh. Whoops, I don't have any pockets in this thing." She giggled. "Oopsie."

"Second off, it's like I said. When you're a new being, neither of your old names are right for you."

"So… you're not Count Bleck."

"No."

"Oh." Her face flushed. "So… um… do you still like me?"

Fleischer laughed. "Of course I do. I still have all those memories of what a wonderful minion you are, and what a nice, fun person you can be. I just… also feel like I'm meeting you for the first time. That's good. That means I get to know you all over again."

"Gosh... thanks, that's sweet."

Nastasia found a notepad in her pocket with a pen clipped to it, and handed it to Mimi. "Here," she said, "if you wanted to keep track."

"Thanks," said Mimi. "Okay, so Fleischer is made up of Ghibli and Count Bleck… Pixar is made of Toei and Dique… Marza is made up of Laika and Vanguard... Malachite is made up of Jasper and Lapis..."

"All right," said Fleischer. "I've got the wand, I've got the power amplification... I think it's now or never. We have to fight. Ugh... I'm a little nervous."

From behind him, Nell reached up and gave his glove a reassuring squeeze. "Hey."

Fleischer looked at her curiously.

"You got this."

The masks expression couldn't change, but Fleischer returned the squeeze. "Thank you... You were the first person to reach out to Ghibli."

"Yeah?"

"Count Bleck would appreciate that, too. He likes it when people make connections with others."

Nell smiled.

Fleischer turned back. "All right. Gather in; Fleischer has a plan."


	19. Inabilities

Gathered around Fleischer was everybody in Dimension D: Nastasia, Dimentio, Mimi, O'Chunks, Tippi, Glitter Sue, and Nell. With his audience attentive, he began to speak.

"Marza is powerful, but Pixar still has power over him as Toei controls Vanguard. Pixar hates his own existence and will absolutely die without surrendering if he has a chance. If we can get Pixar to willingly separate and loosen his hold on Marza, we might just have a chance to take down Laika. And if we can get the dragon down on the ground, then all of us working together might have a chance to subdue him." Fleischer turned to Glitter Sue. "You know him; will he meet us on the battlefield?"

"He will," said Glitter Sue. "If there's any of Laika left in them, he will fight. He's very proud."

"Good," said Fleischer. "O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio, I want you with Glitter Sue taking on Marza. She can't fight, so you have to protect her, but let her give the commands. She knows how to fight this enemy. Nastasia, Tippi, we're going to focus our attention on Pixar. Remember: _keep Dique alive_. Laika and Toei voluntarily brought themselves into this, and as such volunteered to put their lives on the line, but Dique wants out. Count Bleck refuses to let an innocent life be taken in sacrifice for the greater good unless all other options are exhausted, and Ghibli doesn't want Nelvana to lose her best friend. So Dique must live."

"Understood," said Glitter Sue.

"All right. Now we return to the field of battle."

* * *

When they returned to the former village, it had been razed to the ground. Where ancient houses had stood refurbished now there was only ash. Tent City was also gone without a trace, and Frankley's trailer had been punted to the side, lying dented and crumpled far away from its original space. The shadow of Marza was cast on the ground flying in circles around the area, searching for the archaeologists who had gotten away. The entire group was standing in the former Tent City, several yards from the dig site, and could see nothing was left intact.

"You said the others are underground?" Fleischer asked Dimentio.

"Yes," replied Dimentio, "and all accounted for.

"Good."

Glitter Sue stepped forward. "He'll come and fight. Fleischer, can you use my wand to make my voice louder?"

Without hesitation, and with part of him not even being sure how he did it, Fleischer tapped Glitter Sue's head. A moment later, she shouted in a magically amplified voice, "Hey! Marza! Our fight isn't over yet!"

Above, Marza spread his wings and made a wide turn, banking slightly as he did so. Then he dove down and landed on all fours with such force it felt like an earthquake to those meeting him on the ground. The red eyes of the phanto glowed bright red as he lowered his head down to the ground.

Now that they were level, they could clearly see patches of amber-colored skin stretched between the dragon's rib cage and down the beginning of his spine. Most of the new skin growth was concentrated in the area around the Crazy Lace heart, but there were a few tiny patches on his feet and near his tail. Most of the skin had a lace-like pattern spreading over it as if it was a part of the heart itself.

"Well, well, well," said Marza. "So you've come back to fight. Although it looks like you've got other people to do your fighting for you; I see you've surrendered your precious wand."

"I really don't care who defeats you," said Glitter Sue, "so long as _someone_ does it."

"Yeah!" shouted Mimi. "And we're gonna knock you out, you big meanie!"

Marza laughed. "You will do no such thing! You'll all die, like the rest of this pathetic loser village."

"If yeh want us to die," said O'Chunks, "then put yer chunks where yer mouth is!"

Marza brandished a bony claw. "So be it."

The dragon pounced, and the battlers scattered.

Fleischer flicked his wand down and out, and sent a spray of sand into Marza's eyes as the others put distance between each other and prepared to fight.

Mimi quickly took on her spider form, first cracking her neck before extending her legs. Glitter Sue, who was running beside her, faltered in her stride before picking up her run. "I never get tired of that," she said, more to herself than to Mimi.

Mimi began spitting rubees out of the top of her head, firing at Marza with all her strength. Unfortunately for her, the rubees only bounced off his skin and landed on the ground. He didn't even seem to notice her attack because at the same time O'Chunks was running along the other side of him and Marza was tracking his movements.

O'Chunks ran faster than Marza could follow, and he made it behind Marza before he could be stopped. There, he grabbed the beast's tail and began to swing him around. Marza may have been huge, but he was surprisingly light. O'Chunks was able to spin him around two, three, four times before letting go and slamming the dragon directly into the cliff side, kicking up a great cloud of dust in the process.

"All right, Chunky!" Mimi cheered. "Way to go!"

But as soon as the dust cleared, Marza climbed back up on his feet as if nothing had happened. He flicked some of the dust off his new skin, looking as bored as he possibly could. "Child's play," he said. "Nothing but child's play. It's as if your world has _regressed_ these past thousand years if this is the best you can do to fight me."

"Child's play, indeed," said Dimentio, holding a Dazzle Ball. "But have you ever seen a toy like _this_?"

As the battle raged on, Fleischer, Tippi, and Nastasia ran in search of Pixar. Previously he was seen riding on Marza's back, but currently, Marza was fighting unmounted. With Marza distracted by the minions, it left them free to search. Once they were a fair distance from the fight, Fleischer stopped. He looked left and right, the mask's expression unchanging, before turning in a different direction and speeding ahead at full tilt.

"Where are we going?" asked Tippi.

"This way," said Fleischer. "I can... or, I think Ghibli can sense where Toei is if he's close enough."

Fleischer came to a stop next to the trailer. The doorway was facing the sky, though the door itself had been torn off its hinges and thrown to the side. The whole trailer looked like a crumpled cola can bent into an acute angle. As they skidded to a stop, Pixar climbed up out of the trailer and stood on the side.

"Pixar!" Fleischer shouted.

"If you're trying to stop me, you won't succeed," said Pixar. "I refuse to return to my previous powerless state."

"You weren't powerless," said Fleischer.

"Compared to what I am now, I was nothing." Pixar raised his hands above his head. A dark, opaque cloud began forming over him. "Can you do this? Of course not. Ghibli was an idiot. Always sitting on the wall, never thinking, never _doing_." The ball began to crackle with electricity. Small blue bolts appeared in short bursts like lightning from within. "He never unlocked his full potential as a phanto. What on earth made your host think he could bring out anything?"

"I don't want to fight you."

"Then _die._ "

A bolt of electricity shot forth from the cloud, but Fleischer was quick; he brought up a thick shield of sand which exploded the moment the bolt touched it. Pixar leaped off the trailer and landed on the sand below. The moment he did, the sand around him formed a thick, opaque bubble around him and squeezed in.

"Count, look out!" Nastasia shouted.

The use of Count Bleck's title caused Fleischer to hesitate. That hesitation was at the exact second he should have dodged Pixar's next bolt. The force of it sent him flying backward, until he skidded in the sand on his back. As soon as he hit the ground, the sand bunched up in behind of him to slow him down, accumulating largely enough to lift him back up onto his feet. Unfortunately, as all that happened, he lost his focus on the bubble, and Pixar was already running behind the trailer to take shelter.

"Uh, sorry," said Nastasia.

"No problem," said Fleischer. "Tippi, go up and tell me if I miss anything."

The dark cloud shot another volley of lightning at Fleischer, but this time he was ready, and he dodged between them as he rushed back to the trailer. Nastasia ran around it opposite Fleischer, and they both turned the corner to face Pixar at the same time.

"What," said Pixar, looking back and forth between them. "You think you've got me cornered? You think having one of you behind me is even a minor inconvenience?"

The moment Pixar turned to face Fleischer after his sentence, Nastasia grabbed his little body in a full nelson. "Why don't you go ahead zap me now, then?" she snarled in his ear. Pixar squirmed, but he didn't break free. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Fleischer grabbed Toei and began to tug.

"Don't you dare, you idiot!" shouted Pixar. "You'll kill both of us!"

"What?"

"Don't tell me you don't understand your own ability! If you sever the tentacles it would be the same as ripping off someone's arms and legs all at once! And with them still embedded in the host, you'll be leaving Dique with holes in his skull."

Fleischer pulled his hands back as if he had been burned and jumped away.

"You didn't really think that would work, did you?" Pixar laughed derisively.

"Well, I saw an opening, and I thought, you know, it was maybe worth a try?" Fleischer said weakly.

"You really are a pathetic idiot," said Pixar.

"So you keep saying," said Nastasia. "Why don't you come up with some new words?"

Nastasia squeezed him around the throat a little tighter. "Yeah, so I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you to keep your mouth shut." Fleischer reached one gloved hand out and squeezed the air, focusing on his intention.

Pixar twitched, and then twisted, before he stopped squirming. "Wait- what are you doing to me? Why can't I flip out of this? Phantos are supposed to be able to move between dimensions!

"Yes," said Fleischer. "But, uh, I think this is one of my fusion powers now? I can stop other people from warping just by, like... trying really hard?"

"You don't understand _anything_ about yourself! You are such a _waste!_ But you know what's funny? Your random new fusion power isn't even going to help because, in case you forgot, _I control Vanguard!_ " He wriggled just enough so that Nastasia's hand wasn't choking him as hard and bellowed, "Marza! Come to me!"

Tippi flew down immediately. "He's not joking! Marza just did a u-turn in the dirt!"

"Wait, but can't I control him, too?"

"You have no idea what your own powers are! How can you expect to override me _and_ Laika when you're just fumbling around through life like a pathetic little wriggler?"

Marza pounced on the ground beside them, again shaking the earth so greatly that Nastasia dropped Pixar, who immediately scrambled over to the dragon's paw. Marza lifted Pixar up and placed him gently on his skull. "Take them out," said Pixar. "Beginning with the fusion."

Marza brought up his paw.

"If you can make him stop," said Tippi, "now's the time!"

Instead, Fleischer dodged. Marza struck again and again, and each time Fleischer darted off to the side, as he moved around to Marza's side and then his back, ignoring the monster's brandished claws and whipping tail, trying to get closer to Pixar.

However, as soon as he got within striking distance of Marza's back foot, Marza reacted. He lifted up the foot, but Fleischer was still focused on the tail and front feet, and the tiny threat between them went momentarily unnoticed; in a battle like this, however, a moment was all it took.

Again, Nastasia cried out, "Count! Look out!"

And, again, the form of address threw Fleischer for a loop, as it did not immediately register as his own.

The foot came down on him. As soon as Pixar saw contact had been made, he crowed, and Marza ground it into the sand. Tippi shrieked and flew down to the point of contact, registering as nothing more than a bug to the dragon as she did.

When Marza lifted his foot to survey the damage, Nastasia dove under, grabbed Fleischer, and disappeared.


	20. Showdown

The three of them reappeared back in Dimension D, where Nell was sitting quietly and patiently. When she saw the crumpled white cape, she jumped up.

Nastasia laid Fleischer gently on the green ground and rolled him onto his back. The mask was perfectly intact. Tippi fluttered right up to his face. "Blumiere? I mean, Fleischer? Are you all right? Please say something!"

Fleischer was in a lot of pain, as low HP tends to do that to one. As he lay on the ground, looking up into the endless expanse of green, all he could think was, _Ghibli doesn't deserve to feel this way._ He slowly reached up and placed a glove on the mask. Slowly, the black head tentacles retreated out of Count Bleck's head. As they did, they secreted a special protein behind them that closed the hole they left. Ghibli and Count Bleck were separate.

Tippi landed on Count Bleck's chest. He raised his left hand and rested it gently on her. "Don't you scare me like that again, Blumiere," said Tippi.

"Wow," said Ghibli, looking at the side of Count Bleck's head. "I didn't know I could do that."

"Many things one's body does... are not done on a conscious level," said Count Bleck, panting slightly. "I don't tell my own saliva to begin to digest my food, but it does that anyway."

"If I could do that on purpose, I bet that would be great for medicinal purposes," said Ghibli.

"Indeed," said Nastasia. "Fortunately, we have our own treatments handy." She pulled a pouch out of her pocket, stuffed with the last of the mushrooms from Castle Bleck's pantry. "They're a little dried, but they should work."

"Thank you," said Count Bleck. He took the mushrooms, and after a minute sat up. Tippi fluttered backwards when he did. "This is embarrassing," he said. "This is the second fight where Count Bleck- or, where I, whoever I was, have been utterly curb-stomped."

"You didn't get Dique back?" asked Nell, frowning.

"Unfortunately, no," said Nastasia. "It seems Fleischer wasn't quite up to the task. Perhaps if I hadn't had so much trouble addressing you properly..."

"You were right," said Count Bleck. "This was too much of an unknown. I thought that with my own power amplified and with Glitter Sue's wand, that I would be a match for the dragon."

"Yeah," said Ghibli. "You didn't take into account the problem that is _me_."

"Hey." Nell leaned forward towards Ghibli. "You are _not_ a problem."

"Yes, I am. My uncertainty, confusion, and indecision just got one of the nicest people I've ever interacted with smashed under a dragon's foot. Pixar was right. All I'm good for is hanging on a wall and doing nothing."

Nell stood up. "Don't you talk like that. Don't _ever_ talk like that! Because as soon as you believe that you can never be better, then it's all over; you've got no hope of ever improving yourself. Hey." She held her hand out. "You can't fight. Okay. I can't fight, either. But we both want the same thing. We want back the person Pixar stole from us."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying let's not fight Pixar. Maybe what we need is the people who want him back to go out there and take him back."

"Wait, wait, wait a moment." Count Bleck held up his hands. "You're implying that _you_ want to fuse with him?"

"I mean, why not? So Fleischer was a bust because he can't fight. Maybe he's good at something else. Maybe with him talking to Toei and me talking to Dique, then whoever we are has a chance of getting through to Pixar."

"Yeah," said Ghibli. "And if we can do that, then we can take Vanguard's power away from Marza!"

"That sounds incredibly risky," said Tippi.

"I don't care," said Nell. "I'm ready to take that risk."

"I actually think this is a pretty good idea," said Nastasia.

"And I think I remember how to use the wand from when I was Fleischer," said Count Bleck.

"Wait..." Tippi looked concerned. "You can't mean you're going back? After what just happened?"

Count Bleck made a solemn face. "I have to," he said. "The others are still fighting Marza. I have to be there in some capacity at least."

"But... I mean, what if you're _really_ hurt? A few healing mushrooms can't do much for such severe damage."

"My dear, we don't really have the luxury of stepping back and making the most comfortable choices. The world is at stake."

"I know, but..."

Count Bleck leaned in and kissed her. "Sometimes we have to take a leap."

Nell gently took hold of Ghibli and held him close to the front of her face. "Okay, I'm ready." She took a deep breath. "So, uh, is this gonna hurt?"

Count Bleck looked back over his shoulder. "Not much. You'll feel a very strong pinching sensation, but it doesn't ache or burn or sting or anything."

"Okay," said Nell, "here goes." She pressed her face into the mask. As before, Ghibli bore into her head with his black tentacles until the mask was firmly affixed to her head. This time, however, the transformation went more smoothly. She didn't cry out, twitch, lurch, or anything undignified. Nell simply got down on one knee with her hands on the ground as she took deep, steadying breaths.

Count Bleck knelt down and leaned close to the mask's edge. "Who are you?"

The new being let out a shuddering breath. "Ruby Spears," she said. "Call me Ruby Spears."

* * *

Dimentio, O'Chunks, Mimi, and Glitter Sue had been steadfastly fighting Marza when he was called away by Pixar. It was rather graceless, actually; O'Chunks had slammed the great beast into the ground upside-down so that Dimentio could strike his rapidly appearing underbelly in an attempt to sever the connection of the Crazy Lace Heart when all of a sudden, Marza rolled over and lumbered away.

"'Ey, now, what's this?" O'Chunks scratched his head. "Thought we were in the middle of a battle, here, weren't we?"

"I think so, yes," said Dimentio.

"Uh... after him, I guess?" Glitter Sue held her arm out, her hand positioned as if she were pointing with her wand. "I've never seen him act like this. Must be Vanguard."

They all followed after Marza, jogging in the dirt except for Dimentio, who hovered behind Glitter Sue. His toes nudged the back of her cap several times as their speed was almost, but not exactly, even with each other.

Glitter Sue batted at the back of her head. "Watch it."

"My apologies."

If only they moved a little faster, things might have played out differently. As it was, they only just arrived in time to see Marza's great foot come crashing down on Fleischer's comparatively minuscule form.

"No!"

" _Count!_ "

"F-Man!"

"Wait," said Mimi, "which one of us said F-Man?"

"I think I did," said Glitter Sue. "Sorry, I can't for the life of me remember his new name."

"Uh, neither can I," said O'Chunks.

Dimentio threw his arms up and opened several contained squares all along Marza's bony body. Bringing his arms down caused the one at the tip of Marza's tail to experience several concentrated explosions, setting off a chain reaction that blasted every inch of Marza's body. Marza howled in pain as finally, _finally_ their attacks got through to him.

When the smoke clouds settled, Marza had turned mostly around and was glowering at his opponents. His bones had scorch marks in them and some of his skin was peeling off, but otherwise he didn't seem to be noticing the effects of the attack.

"His _name_ ," said Dimentio harshly, "is _Fleischer._ "

Pixar peered out from behind Marza's back leg. "Impressive," he said. Marza brought the end of his tail under Pixar's feet, and lifted him carefully up and onto his back. Pixar hopped off and took his place standing on Marza's neck, looking down at the heroes beside him.

Dimentio slowly lowered himself onto the ground. He wiped his forehead. "Give me ten minutes," he said out of the side of his mouth, "and I can do that again."

"It looks like I've cleanly wiped out half of you," said Pixar. "Isn't that right, Marza?"

"Will I get a stomach soon?" Marza asked. "I would just _love_ to devour these tasty little morsels."

"Oh, you'll get a stomach and more," Pixar assured him. "And one by one, these wretches will disappear in your cavernous maw, never to be seen again thanks to it."

Dimentio raised his hand. "Excuse me, but I do hope you're not thinking about eating me without the proper cola paring. I, of course, deserve a fine Chuckola reserve, as I'm quite the rare delicacy." He pointed at Mimi with his thumb. "You can just eat her with whatever they have in the discount bin."

"Mean," said Mimi. "Even when we're about to be eaten, you can't keep your jabs to yourself."

Dimentio took a bow.

"That wasn't actually a compliment but okay."

"But we're wasting time here," said Pixar. "Scuffling for power in this abandoned wasteland. I yearn to stretch my new powers somewhere I can see the effect we're having. I want to establish real dominance, not this petty power play. Marza! We're heading west. And by the time these insignificant specks catch up with us, you're going to have that stomach and you're going to use it against these foes." He paused. "All except for the one who enjoys it. Him we just kill."

Marza spread his wings out. With one powerful flap, he kicked up a cloud of dust and wind. "Goodbye, heroes!" Pixar called. "Oh, and if your friend isn't dead, tell him that once we get out of the desert, your precious guardian artifact will have no use against us! See you soon!"


	21. The Fall of the Dragon

Count Bleck, Nastasia, Tippi, and Ruby Spears re-appeared in the desert just as Marza flew off to the west.

As soon as Mimi saw Count Bleck she tackled him in a big bear hug. "Count!"

Count Bleck winced as he returned Mimi's hug. "All right, settle down. Yes, Count Bleck is all right."

"I saw you get smooshed!"

"Glad to have yeh back, Count," said O'Chunks. "A warrior ehn't nothing without 'is leader."

Glitter Sue, meanwhile, was eyeing Ruby Spears. "And who is this?" she asked in a politely friendly tone.

"Me?" Ruby Spears put a hand to her chest. Then she twirled around on her left toes. "I'm Ruby Spears."

"Ruby Spears," repeated Glitter Sue. "The whole thing, right? Not one or the other?"

"Correct. The whole thing."

"I like it."

Count Bleck pointed upwards. "Where is the dragon heading?"

"Oh, whoops!" Mimi finally let go of Count Bleck. "He's going west!"

"West? What's west?" asked Glitter Sue.

"Toad Town," said Count Bleck. "Home of Princess Peach, ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Wait, if their ruler is a princess, wouldn't that make it a principality?"

"I don't know, and now really isn't the time to get into it. We've got to catch up to that dragon!"

Ruby Spears flapped her wings and took off. "I can fly ahead!" She was up and away in an instant.

"Count, I can show you a really cool trick with that wand, if you'll let me," said Glitter Sue.

Count Bleck hesitated, and then handed it over.

"Everybody stand in real close," said Glitter Sue.

The remaining group: Nastasia, Tippi, O'Chunks, Count Bleck, Mimi, and Dimentio, all gathered around Glitter Sue. "Closer. Closer. Fill in all empty available space, please. Thank you. Okay, everybody hold on tight."

"To what?" asked O'Chunks.

"Just, you know, whatever."

When the group was packed tightly together, Glitter Sue said, "Okay, everybody ready? Three, two, one, here we go!"

Immediately, the ground below their feet erupted like a geyser of sand, rocketing to the sky on a column of sand. But instead of just thrusting them into the air and forgetting about them, the sand turned into a gigantic wave, a desert tsunami that overtook Mt. Rugged itself as it carried them over, thinning and stretching as the sand moved to get them as far over the mountain as possible. By the time the wave ran out of steam, they were at the train station west of the mountain, and an inch of grit covered the ground between them and the destroyed village.

Glitter Sue handed the wand back to Count Bleck. "Here you go. Thanks."

Somewhat unsteady after his rapid flight, Count Bleck reached out and took it back. "Yes... well, thank you, as well."

There were three train station toads, who had been watching the dragon and were now staring at the sandy visitors who had landed right next to the tracks.

"Excuse me," said Count Bleck, "may we borrow a train?"

"Uh..." The toads looked at each other.

"We're trying to keep pace with that dragon to keep him from destroying the world."

"Oh, well, in that case, yeah, just bring it back."

Glitter Sue was staring wide-eyed at the train, mouth agape. "Don't tell me you actually know how to operate this behemoth?"

One of the toads at the station threw his hand up. "Dude, I have _no idea_ what is going on, but I'll drive. This totally looks like something I want to be a part of."

"Climb aboard," said Count Bleck. "Set the train for maximum fastness."

A train like this one isn't a strong starter, unfortunately, but once it gets going, it cuts through the desert like a sideways quarter rolling away from you towards a storm drain. It belched smoke and steam from the engine like a fully reformed dragon, and its wheels chugged along diligently as the machine roared through the rolling sand.

When the Count and his company arrived, the train had only been hooked up to the coal car. This was good for their speed, as the less encumbered the train was the easier it was to push it to its limits. The bad part was that train engines weren't roomy to begin with, and with seven passengers crowding in and leaving enough space for the engineer to drive it, it was like standing in a sweatbox.

O'Chunks was perched on top of the train, using his immense girth and strength to hold steady against the ever increasing speeds, scanning the sky to find Marza and Ruby Spears. The sky was clear and cloudless, and stretched on far beyond what his vision was capable of perceiving. Below, everyone waited for news, hoping that he would spot their enemy before it arrived at the city.

Suddenly, O'Chunks broke out in a broad grin. "I see 'em!" he crowed.

Mimi, Count Bleck, and Nastasia were closest to the window facing north, where O'Chunks was pointing. After scanning the sky, Count Bleck saw Marza high above, but not as far from the tracks as he dreaded. Behind him, trailing not too terribly far, was Ruby Spears, bridging the distance inch by painful, flapping inch.

Count Bleck turned to Dimentio. "Can you go that high?"

"Of course."

Count Bleck turned to the others. "When the dragon is knocked out of the sky, I want you to _finish him._ "

"I'm coming, too!" Mimi turned into a goonie, the first thing she could think of that had wings.

Up in the sky, Pixar was perched on Marza's neck. He was gently patting the back of the monster's skull, partly out of affection and partly because the crazy lace skin was starting to stretch its way up here, and he wanted to examine it.

Behind him, way at the tail, Ruby Spears grabbed at the air in front of her, trying to get a hold of the tail whipping back and forth in the air in front of her. She still wasn't completely used to herself yet, so it took a few more tries than it would have taken Nell, and she kept falling back in pace, but soon enough she was able to grab Marza's tail and pull herself up onto his back.

Below, Count Bleck grabbed onto the last of Marza's exposed ribs and hoisted himself into the dragon's gaping chest cavity, followed by Dimentio, Tippi, and Mimi who quickly discarded her goonie form. The skin was frail and brittle, and as Mimi was the only one standing with her feet on something, she chose to balance herself on one of Marza's thick ribs.

Inside the slowly forming cavern was Marza's heart. The Crazy Lace Heart was beating and pulsing rapidly, just like any heart belonging to a person who was expending this much effort. The heart itself seemed to be converting from stone to muscle, as patches of it were red and slick while others were still stone patterned with lace. It was connected to Marza not just by veins and arteries, but also thick, gummy strands of sinew.

"We're running out of time," said Count Bleck.

Just above them, Ruby Spears dragged herself along Marza's back, pulling herself forward with her belly to the ground so she wouldn't lose her balance or be toppled by heavy winds.

"Pixar!" Ruby Spears shouted over the wind gusting past them.

"Oh, for the love of- who is it _now_?" Pixar turned around just in time to see Ruby Spears stand up.

"It's me. Ruby Spears." Ruby Spears held out her hand. "I'm your best friend. I'm your sister. I came to ask you not to do this."

"And why do you think you'll have any better luck?"

"Because I know you. We've been friends for years. You've always been beside me. You've always been there for me. Whenever I was scared and alone, you were right next to me to let me know things were going to be okay, that I didn't have to be afraid of the dark and of what was out there. Whenever I missed a class, you always had the most detailed notes you would share."

The hole through which Count Bleck had entered was slowly closing. Dimentio poked at the sinew connecting the heart to Marza's body, testing its durability.

"Cut it out!" Mimi hissed. "He's gonna notice we're here!"

"This sinew is incredibly thick," Dimentio replied. "I don't think he can feel us very well. As long as you remain standing on that bone."

Back above, Pixar scoffed at Ruby Spears' plea. "Since we're _such good friends,_ maybe _you_ can understand something. Remember all those cold, lonely, scary nights underground? Remember how we stayed up late working as hard as we could but never accomplished anything? Don't you remember how _pointless_ your life was before Ruby Spears?"

"It wasn't pointless," said Ruby Spears. "It was different, but not pointless."

"Well, it was for me."

"No, it wasn't. We had fun. We were happy."

"I'm through being happy." Pixar turned around.

"You _could_ be happy again..." Ruby Spears approached with caution.

"Happiness doesn't matter. Only strength and power matters."

"Dique didn't think that."

"Well, Pixar _does_."

"I don't think Toei thinks that, either."

"Well. Pixar still _does._ "

"You don't need to let Pixar make the decisions!"

"Don't need to? I _am_ Pixar! Who else is going to decide?"

"Well, at least let Dique go! You don't need him! You can be whatever you want if you're just Toei."

"Did you never stop to think that maybe Dique wasn't happy with his life either?" Pixar let out a derisive laugh, one that made Ruby Spears' chest run cold. "Let me tell you something. Dique was _miserable_ here. He didn't even like archaeology. You want to know the truth? The only reason he ended up in this field is because he didn't get into art school and the archaeology department was the only one still accepting applications."

Ruby Spears blanched slightly. "I didn't know that..."

"Yeah, he never told Nelvana. Oh, sure, he thought he would get used to it... but every semester was terrible. Then, he had to hike up here to this forsaken desert to dig for some abandoned civilization... but now it's all clear. It happened for a reason. It was all fate. He was destined to meet Toei. He was destined to become me."

Realization dawned on Ruby Spears. "You... you don't hate your existence?"

"Why would I hate it? I'm great! I have a dragon friend! I have everything I need to get everything I want!"

"Hey!" Marza shouted from up ahead. "We're coming up on something! It looks green!"

Pixar turned around. "Toad Town!" he crowed. "We should be there soon!"

"I can't wait to smash the Princesses stupid pink castle!" Marza laughed with almost childlike delight.

In Marza's ribcage. Dimentio held his arms out and surrounded Marza's heart in his trademark black box outline. "Get ready to fall," he said.

"Yikes!" Mimi turned into a lakitu complete with smug grinning cloud.

With one snap of his fingers, the area within the box was overtaken with a series of concentrated explosions, each one centered around some part of the Crazy Lace Heart. Outside Marza howled in agony, a paroxysm of pain so intense it was beyond coherent words; instead, his howl echoed across the desert for miles as he writhed in midair, his skin dissolving rapidly.

The heart was severed and it, along with Marza's bones, lost its altitude. The ground dropped out from below Pixar's feet just as he turned on Marza's head to see what was wrong with him. Suddenly, without understanding why this was happening, he began falling with no way to save himself.

Without the skin keeping them in the ribcage gone, Mimi dove out from under Marza and reached his head. Vanguard was still attached, but without the Crazy Lace Heart resurrecting Laika, Marza no longer had any consciousness; he was a controllable mask attached to a skull. She grabbed the mask as it fell past her floating cloud. The force of the fall proved too great for her to hold onto it, but her interference was enough that the brittle tentacles securing Vanguard to Laika snapped before the mask slipped out of her grip. Both continued their descent detached from each other.

Though the connection between Marza's body and the Crazy Lace Heart had been severed by Dimentio's explosions, the heart itself was still whole, and still falling to the ground. Dimentio dove after it, letting gravity be his master and even trying to force himself down faster, floating upwards as he did but in reverse, to intercept it mid-plummet. Unfortunately, the Crazy Lace Heart was dense, and Dimentio was surprisingly light. It was drifting away from him, and he gave up, focusing on slowing his descent before he broke his bones on a harsh landing.

On the ground below, the train had come to a stop, and Dimentio, Nastasia, and Glitter Sue were running to intercept the plummeting party. Count Bleck waved Glitter Sue's wand and called the sand up to him, catching himself in a way that dispersed his falling energy by the sand shifting rapidly to accommodate it. He grabbed Dimentio and Tippi as the sand pillar descended, bringing them all down to the ground. Around them rained the remains of Laika, the last bleached bones and the dust of his skin and scales.

As they were falling, Ruby Spears tried to grab Pixar. "It's okay!" she shouted. "I've got you!" But before her claws could grasp his robe, he disappeared and re-appeared two feet away, out of her reach. "Don't touch me!" he shouted.

"But you'll become a pancake!" Ruby Spears cried out, starting to panic.

"I've got to grab the heart!"

"Leave it!"

Pixar warped again, this time bringing himself closer to the heart, and closer to the ground. "Almost..." He reached his stubby, fingerless arm out towards it, brushing lightly against the surface of the heart. He warped one last time, this time right on top of it, and he grabbed it.

"Don't!" shouted Tippi, fluttering downwards near them. "Look at it!"

Pixar took a good look at the heart. As it had been inside Marza, it was part flesh and part stone. However, the cracks between them were glowing oddly, and the heart was trembling in Pixar's grip.

"It's unstable! The magic is backed up! It's still trying to transform but it's got nothing to feed into!"

"What does that-?"

Pixar didn't finish. The Crazy Lace Heart exploded in a cloud of thick, black smoke. Pixar was blown sideways, and Ruby Spears caught him just in time for them to land on the ground safely.

Glitter Sue grabbed a piece of crazy lace falling from the site of the explosion. "I don't believe it," she said. "We couldn't destroy it for all that time and all we needed to do was implant it in a dead dragon, wait for it to start working, and then cut off its receptacle so it backed up so badly it destroyed itself. It was so obvious! Why didn't I think of that?"

Ruby Spears gently placed Pixar on the sand. The others started to crowd around, but Count Bleck held his cape out. "Give him some air."

Toei was cracked. Not just cracked, he was nearly shattered. The mask was broken from a point of impact between his eyes and mouth, and jagged fissures spread out in every direction from his face. Pixar was shaking. Above him, tears were falling onto his face from under Ruby Spears' mask.

Shaking, Pixar reached his little nubby arms up to his face and rested them on the sides of the mask. Slowly, the black tentacles retreated and receded into Toei, leaving Dique free. Then the mask split apart, the pieces falling into the sand.

Dique sat up.

"Are you all right?" asked Tippi.

"I think so," said Dique slowly. "I feel... different."

Ruby Spears grabbed Dique in a huge hug from behind. "Dique! You're okay! I missed you so much!"

Dique squirmed around until he was in a position to hug back. "I missed you, too. Uh, sort of. I mean, I missed Nell, and you're kind of Nell..." he paused. "I'm really sorry. I didn't want to hurt anybody."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" asked Ruby Spears.

"About archaeology? I don't know... I mean, yeah, it's not the thing I wanted to do the most, but... I don't know, I didn't exactly mean it when I said I was miserable... I guess Pixar was miserable, so all of my memories of Dique were tainted with his misery."

"Fusion is weird," said Glitter Sue.

Ruby Spears wiped the tears off her chin. "But Toei..."

O'Chunks put a massive hand on her shoulder and shell. "Aye, I know... it's hard when yeh can't save the ones yeh care about."

"He was the last of my siblings... the rest are gone."

"We should head back," said Count Bleck. "The others would probably like to know that they're safe.


	22. Epilogue

They didn't get back to the camp until nightfall. The train engineer was more than thrilled to let them ride back, even though driving a train backwards was much more difficult and time-consuming. Still, when they finally arrived back at the destroyed village, Count Bleck knocked on the trapdoor before it was answered cautiously by Professor Frankly.

"It's safe to come out," said Count Bleck.

"Oh? Oh! Yes! Wonderful!" Professor Frankly threw back the door and climbed out. "Everybody! All clear! The danger is gone!"

Immediately the rest of the grad students began pouring out from the hole. Professor Bluth and Klasky were with them, Klasky looking relieved to be back out in the open. "Oh, I hate it down there," he said with a shudder. "I know the phantos are gone but it still gives me the crawlies."

Count Bleck quickly filled Professor Frankly and Goombella in on what happened. As he did, they took in the devastation fully for the first time.

"I'm sorry the village is gone," said Count Bleck. "I know how much it meant to you to find it."

"Yeah," said Goombella. "Major bummer. After we worked so hard and searched so long..."

As he was looking around, Professor Frankly spotted Glitter Sue standing apart from the milling crowd, looking at the devastation that had once been her home, the home she had so desperately tried to bring back. Professor Frankly approached her, but stayed a few paces back as he spoke: "Excuse me... Glitter Sue? I want to apologize."

Glitter Sue didn't react, but after a pause Professor Frankly continued. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I was so afraid that I wouldn't get to see how you lived that I didn't give you a chance to live the way you wanted to. Now that everything's gone, I... well, I think it's time for you to move on."

Glitter Sue laughed. It was a hearty, jolly laugh, and she turned back and smiled. "Where's the other one?"

"Professor Sullivan Bluth?"

"Yeah."

Professor Bluth squeezed his way through the crowd. "You mean me?"

Glitter Sue grinned and turned to Professor Frankly. "Frankly, Frankly, I _am_ ready to move on. I've been stuck in this one little village for over a thousand years and I'm sick of it. I want to see the world. I want to see snow, and grass, and mountains, and oceans. I've got my life back and I'm ready to live it!" She turned to Count Bleck and called, "Hey, Count! Do you still have the wand?"

Count Bleck held up the glitter wand. "Yes?"

"Toss it here!"

Count Bleck did so, and Glitter Sue grabbed it. Then she tossed it over to Professor Frankly, who instinctively caught it in his teeth. "Whass hiss fur?" he asked through the wand.

"Take it. It has a primal connection to this place and my people. If you learn how to make a connection with it, it will tell you so much about the way we lived."

Frankly spat it out, and Goombella took it to wipe off. "But don't you need it?"

Glitter Sue laughed. "I don't think so. After all, I'm perfect, just the way I am."

"Then... thank you," said Professor Frankly. "Thank you. A thousand times."

"You know," said Goombella, "the buildings were destroyed, but I'm sure we can still find artifacts here. We can still learn about this place."

"You might be right," said Professor Frankly. "Of course, we'll need to re-establish a base camp, but this place isn't a lost cause after all."

Glitter Sue pointed to Professor Bluth. "And _you_."

Professor Bluth straightened up quickly. "Me?"

"Yeah. Now, I'm sorry that my ancient ways have been tainted with modern influence... but if you wanted to, I dunno, write a paper on stuff I know, then maybe you could tag along with me for a while and maybe I could answer some questions and stuff whenever I'm not busy being awesome."

"That would be splendid! Er... are you sure you would be all right with that?"

"Yeah, super. I get it now, what you're all about, and I kinda get why it's important to you, soooo... uh, yeah."

Count Bleck turned to Ruby Spears. "And what about you? Are you ready to separate?"

"Um... actually..." Ruby Spears fidgeted with her hands behind her shell.

Dique stepped up to her side. "Yeah, come on. I wanna see Nell again."

"The thing is, I kinda like being Ruby Spears."

"Wait, really?"

Ruby Spears looked up at Count Bleck, and then over at Glitter Sue. "I mean, is that okay? Is that a problem? It's not that I _can't_ split up if I wanted to, I just..."

"You don't want to."

"Yeah."

Count Bleck looked at Tippi, who gave a shrug with her wings.

"You have to be who you want to be," said Count Bleck. "If you want to be Ruby Spears, then I think you should."

"Speaking of," said Professor Bluth, "I need two grad students to help me with my research into Glitter Sue. Dique, Nell- er, Ruby, you- Ruby Spears, that is- you're standing closest to me. Are you interested?"

"Yes!" said Ruby Spears. "And if we're traveling with Glitter Sue, then we can look for the rest of my siblings!"

Glitter Sue grinned. "That's the idea! They could be _anywhere_! So the more places I see, the more of them I might find for you."

"Wow," said Count Bleck. "Dique, Ruby Spears, Professor Bluth, and Glitter Sue all traveling the world. Sounds like it would make quite the spin-off."

"I'd read it," said Tippi.

All of a sudden, Dimentio appeared in the thick of the crowd, which was odd because nobody had noticed him disappear in the first place. He was carrying a giant sack, which he dropped on the ground. "Good news, everybody," he said. "I brought the refreshments." He opened the bag so that everybody could see the vast array of sweets and snacks piled within.

"For what?" asked Count Bleck, puzzled.

"For the massive celebration I know you want to throw after our stunning victory. It's something I've seen people enjoy."

A boomboxer grad student burst out of the crowd. "That's right! This _does_ call for a party!" He started laying down some sick beats, loud enough for everybody in the pit to hear.

So the party lasted long into the night. Everybody was thrilled to survive, and the victory was a proud one. They danced and snacked and laughed well into the morning, and when the sun began to rise over the desert, it brought with it the feeling of a bright, warm future for the Count and his minions, for Glitter Sue and her new friends, for Ruby Spears' existence, for the archaeologists and their continued quest for knowledge about the past, and hope that whatever challenges they all faced, they would triumph as they just had: together.

* * *

 _Where have I been?_

 _Well, there's actually some really good news about that: I just got accepted to my dream job. I finally got to quit working at the Dollar Tree. Now I know how Scott Cawthon felt after Five Nights at Freddy's started paying the bills. Next week I'm moving to Disney World to work there, and I'm staying there for good if all goes according to plan. With all the preparations for moving, it's very easy to lose track of how much time is passing._

 _Also, and this is harder, it means my anxiety has come back. Lately, it's been like a television turned to static that's always in the room next to me, loud enough that I can't ignore it but not strong enough that it's keeping me from functioning. That makes nearly everything I do at least 10x harder, especially posting a story in public. Posting this right now as it is is extremely hard for me, especially knowing I'm doing it late._

 _But I've still got the things for the anniversary. The official date has passed, but it was never about the exact day I started, it was about the beginning. This is Year 10, after all. I have something to put up next week, regardless of how the move goes, and after that. If you're not already, keep an eye on the official Count's World_ tumblr _, TheCountsBlog._

 _Again, sorry about everything, I'm still here, and I love you all very, very much._


End file.
